


Entangled

by jl_micasea



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: All Rights Reserved, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Breakups, Cheating, Confrontations, Do Not Translate, Do not repost, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heavy Angst, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Love Triangles, M/M, Messy, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minho is an asshole, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Romance, Rough Sex, SKz Smut, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Stray Kids Smut, Swearing, Switch Han Jisung | Han, Threesome - F/M/M, Top Lee Minho | Lee Know, chan is heaven sent, changlix is a thing, conclusions are reached, felix is the only best friend that matters, idol members, implied member ships, jisung has a weakness for pet names, levanter era, long read, mild violence, non idol reader, stray kids x reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:35:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28935651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jl_micasea/pseuds/jl_micasea
Summary: What happens when a normal, everyday fan becomes intimately involved with Stray Kids? Entangled in their relationships, you experience this story of love, friendship, betrayal and atonement.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Reader, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	1. Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from my old Tumblr blog.  
> This is the first full-length story I ever wrote, not my best work but it does hold a special place in my heart. Feedback is always massively appreciated either via AO3 or through my Tumblr more directly. Please enjoy. Please consider leaving kudos or a comment on this if you enjoyed it, they're all responded to and are what keeps me motivated. ~Mica  
> ~ [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/)  
> ~ [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)

##### Stray Kids.

They were all you thought about lately, and you had Spotify to thank for that. You’d randomly selected a kpop playlist to listen to during the drive home from work, and that was how you discovered them. Miroh was a song that instantly caught your attention, and you wasted no time in googling them the moment you got home to find out just who created this amazing track. Watching the Miroh MV was only the start - your interest in these boys had now gone far beyond being just intrigued. You loved them, supported them and wanted them to be so successful, because it was what you believed they deserved.

Stray Kids gave you a reason to be happy. They were your motivation, and your daydream.

And daydreaming was something you were oh-so-good at.

Spending most of your working days sat at your desk, scrolling through Instagram whenever you could get away with it to see the latest pictures and memes, watch the GIFs that made you smile and see the faces of these boys that just warmed your heart so much - you’d be lying if you said they didn’t give you feelings that no man you’d met so far could give you. Every single member was undeniably attractive, stirring things in you that made your stomach burn with fire. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but you can’t help what you feel, right?

The harsh sound of a phone ringing quickly snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Good morning, Starry Enterprises, how can I help?” You answered with your now perfected telephone voice. You’d worked at Starry for roughly a year, as a receptionist. Your working day consisted of answering the phone, filing and copying documents, and any other tasks people needed from you. You didn’t hate the job. It paid your bills and you were able to manage your own workload, which made you happy enough. Your colleagues were also fairly pleasant, not asking anything more from you than idle small talk, which suited you down to the ground. Your anti-social personality wasn’t something you always had… in fact, in school you were such a social butterfly you doubted that your classmates would even recognise you now. But life happens and people change, after 4 years you were no longer the same person you were when you were 16.

The day ticked over slowly, and eventually the clock struck your favourite time of the day. You packed up your things and switched off your computer, leaving your desk as you waved goodbye to your colleagues, heading for the car park. You jumped into your 2007 plate bright red Fiat, whirring up the engine and plugging in your aux cord to your phone. Since discovering Stray Kids, the drives to and from work had become much more fun. You opened up your Spotify and selected Levanter, letting the music wash over you as you pulled out of the car park.

* * *

##### Getting into your apartment, you kicked off your shoes and threw your bag on the nearest chair.

You lived alone, and coming back to an empty, dark apartment would probably make other people feel lonely, but not you. You loved this little apartment that was your own personal space. It was your haven, and nothing could hurt you here.

Wandering over to the fridge, you swung it open and grabbing the last remnants of the bottle of rose wine that you almost finished the night before.

“Shit, forgot to get a new one…” You whined. You made a mental note to pick one up tomorrow.

Kicking the fridge door shut, you turned and grabbed your laptop from the counter with your free hand and made your way to the sofa. You plunged yourself into the soft cushions, flipping open your laptop and hammering the keys on the keyboard to wake it up. The screen illuminated you as it came to life, opening up to the Instagram feed you’d left it on. Hitting Ctrl+R on the keyboard refreshes the page, bringing up new content that you hadn’t seen before.

Scrolling through the page, you hum Levanter to yourself as you flick over the pictures and videos, smiling here and there at the faces of the boys you loved so much. Absently bringing the wine bottle to your lips, you took another sip and sighed happily as the wine worked its’ way down your throat, warming you from the inside.

Suddenly, something makes you stop. A picture, titled ‘DISTRICT 9 UNLOCK: WORLD TOUR’. Sitting upright almost immediately, you lean further into the screen to take a better look. It looks like an announcement, with a list of cities and dates.

Your heartbeat quickened, and you took another sip from your bottle of wine. Your eyes scanned the cities and dates, moving down the list carefully.

LONDON - SSE WEMBLEY AREA

“OH MY GOD!” You scream and simultaneously spit out your wine all over your laptop screen.

“Oh my god, fuck…”

They were coming to London. London was close, a few hours drive or by train. Yes, you could get to London. This was possible - you could actually see them. In real life. You became lightheaded as the prospect dawned on you that this could really be happening - they could be standing less than a few feet away from you. Not even that, they could be in the same room as you, and that would be enough.

“FUUUUUU-”, you scream again, bringing a pillow to your face to muffle the noise.

Perhaps all the daydreams could become a reality after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	2. Anticipation

##### Months had passed since you’d seen the concert announcement.

When the ticket sale release date was announced, you’d stayed up all through the night to make sure you got the ticket you wanted. Right at the front, in the area as close to the stage as you could physically get. You’d bought the lightstick online, (another expense you couldn’t really afford, but a necessary one), and booked a hotel so you could stay overnight. You didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of having to travel from your small hometown to London, and back again, in one day. It would just be way too tiring. You’d also had to put in a request with work to take a few days off - you knew you’d need time to recover from the excitement of it all.

Finally, the day had come. And with it, all your anxieties and worries. Of course, you were excited about the idea of seeing SKZ in real life, but going on your own was a huge step for you. You didn’t have any close friends, no one that would have gone to the concert with you, and that only served to make your anxiety worse. Would everything be okay? You’d even considered posting on various fan websites to try and find other people to go with, but you’d decided against that in the end. Not worth the risk.

So, you had no other choice but to go alone and hope this pit in your stomach would soothe itself.

With your backpack secured tightly to your back, you waited on the platform for your train to arrive, not being able to shake this feeling of worry. Eventually the train pulled in, and you climbed on board. Settling into a seat near the rear end of the train, you put your headphones in and zoned out. Looking out the window you saw the city flash by, turning into fields and hills, stretching on endlessly. Luckily the weather was nice, so you took the time to close your eyes and practice the breathing methods you’d seen on the internet. Inhale through the nose for 10 seconds… exhale through the mouth. Rinse and repeat.

* * *

##### The big city always made you anxious.

The constant bustling of life was just so different from what you were used to, it almost made you appreciate the dullness of your hometown. Climbing off the train, you immediately headed for the barriers, scanning your ticket to get through and hustling through the crowd as quickly as you could, before realising you didn’t actually know where you were going. You started looking at the signs dotted around the massive train station.

“Taxis… taxis…” You muttered to yourself. Spotting a sign for the taxi rank, you quickly followed them down a corridor and up an escalator, which took you to an area outside of the main station. Huge lines of black taxis sat on the road and you could see people getting into the ones at the front of the line. You decided to copy them, heading to the front of the taxi line and climbing into the next available one.

“Hi. Um… the Ibis please?” You asked the driver. He nodded in understanding and started up the engine, accelerating with far more force than was necessary as it knocked you backwards into your seat. You quickly grabbed the nearest seatbelt you could find and clipped it around you.

The taxi took you around the city, giving you a chance to appreciate the buildings and atmosphere of London. The driver looked at you through the rear view mirror, clearly amused by your bewildered expression.

“So, you’re here alone then love? Little holiday for you is it?” The driver asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yes, I’m here for a concert.” You answered, smiling brightly.

“Oh really?”, he replied. “Well be careful darlin’, London’s not a place to be out on your own, especially for tourists, and especially at night.” You could feel the sincerity behind his words, he was clearly just trying to be nice, but you couldn’t help but shiver slightly at the warning. This was not doing anything to help your anxiety.

After about 20 minutes, the taxi pulled up in front of a large marble white building that had a red sign above the door saying ‘IBIS HOTEL’. You paid the fare and thanked the driver, hopping out of the car and making your way up the stairs to the glass double doors.

“Jesus… this is fancy.” You muttered under your breath. The hotel lobby had marble floors and walls, hardwood reception desks and fancy looking sofas placed around it, it looked so expensive you could hardly believe you had the right hotel. Walking up to the Reception, you checked in and were given the key card to your room. 4419. Hm.

Taking the elevator up to the fourth floor, you walked the corridors and eventually found your room. Scanning the card at the electronic lock, you pushed the door open. The room was small, but nicely furnished. It would do for one night.

You checked the time, 15:34. Doors to the concert opened at 19:00, so you had some time before then. Deciding to take a shower and freshen up, you dropped your bag on the bed and pulled out the clothes you’d intended to wear that night. Black skinny jeans and a red lace off-the-shoulder top that fitted you nicely. It was your favourite top, so of course you had to wear it to what you anticipated to be the best night of your life. Setting them out on the bed, you pulled off the plain black shirt and denim boyfriend jeans you were currently wearing and stuffed them in your backpack. You headed to the bathroom and fumbled with the shower dials for a while before managing to get it to a bearable temperature, then took a shower. The hot water trickled over your skin, soothing your thoughts for a moment, although the pit in your stomach you’d had since this morning showed no signs of getting better.

_Fucking anxiety._

It wouldn’t be so bad if you could at least pinpoint what it was that was making you feel this way. Every now and then you would feel your breath catching your throat, making you feel like you were about to cry for no apparent reason. Butterflies would build up in your stomach only to be quickly replaced by fear, and you could not work out why. You wondered if there even needed to be a specific reason - perhaps it was just your body telling you that the whole thing scared you just as much as it excited you.

But you weren’t about to let that ruin this once in a lifetime opportunity.

* * *

##### You felt sick.

The sheer amount of people here was insane. You knew that people would be coming from far and wide to see Stray Kids, and you knew that there would be a lot of people. But this… was like nothing you could have ever imagined.

You walked right to the back of the queue that seemed to endlessly snake around the arena, controlling your breathing as best as you could. Eventually the end of the queue was in sight, and you joined it apprehensively. At least it was moving, you thought. Suddenly feeling conscious, you pulled the top of your red lace shirt up even closer to your neck and huddled your leather jacket closer to you. It wasn’t that you were cold, you just felt like you were being stared at, even though you knew you weren’t. The people in front were absorbed in their own conversations, talking excitedly amongst themselves.

Suddenly you were pushed backwards, stumbling into the people behind you who grumbled under their breaths.

“Shit! I’m so sorry, are you okay!?” The girl who had apparently pushed you asked. You balanced yourself and looked at her. She was shorter than you, with bright green highlights running through her silky black hair and strong eyeliner defining her cat eyes. She genuinely looked worried and reached out to help you.

“Uh, yeah I’m fine.” You muttered back at her.

“I really am sorry, my friends are idiots. They were fooling around and I fell backwards, I really didn’t mean it…,” she paused, “…hey, are you alone?”

You straightened up immediately, readjusting your jacket around you.

“Yeah, I am.” You replied weakly. The cat eyed girls eyes went wide at your response.

“You should come in with us!” She shrieked. “My name’s Gina.” She announced, smiling brightly at you. You couldn’t help but actually find her quite likable, you could tell she had a bubbly personality.

“I’m Y/N.” You replied, smiling back at her.

You spent the rest of your time in the queue getting to know Gina. She really was nice, and your first impressions of her were on point. She did have a bubbly personality and seemed liked by most of the people she was with, although you couldn’t remember her friends’ names, and they didn’t seem all that affected by your presence. Gina chatted with you about Stray Kids, wanting to know who your bias was, who your wrecker was, what your favourite SKZ moments were, whether you were a soft or hard stan, etc. It felt so surreal to you to be able to talk to another actual person about Stray Kids. You had never been able to do this before, and it was almost like a release for you. Finally, someone else that just gets it, you thought.

Eventually you approached the front of the queue, being asked by the security people for your ticket. You were subjected to a non-invasive body search as a lady scanned a metal detector over your body. Once that was over with, you walked into the massive area.

You thanked the lord that you had decided to get a ticket for the area close to the stage. You were right at the front, you could almost touch the stage from where you were. Gina had also got tickets for the same area, so she was next to you.

It felt like you waited forever, but you enjoyed the anticipation. Fans flooded into the arena, filling up every bit of free space and every seat in the higher rows. The atmosphere was electric, and you could feel your anxiety wearing away to be replaced only with sheer excitement. Gina being next to you with her friends definitely helped, you had to admit. Even if you didn’t know her well, having someone there was better than being alone.

Suddenly, the lights went dark. Screaming erupted from every angle, overwhelming your senses and causing your ears to ring. You looked up towards the stage, seeing the back panels light up and start to separate, excruciatingly slowly. Gina started jumping up and down with excitement, barely holding onto her lightstick. Your breath caught in your throat and for a moment you thought you’d faint. You held tightly onto the metal barrier in front of you, eyes never moving from the back of the stage.

8 silhouettes walked through the separating panels towards the front of the stage, surrounded in smoke and darkness.

Holy shit. They were here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	3. Contact

##### You wanted to cry.

They were right in front of you. These angels that you’ve only ever seen through a screen, smiling brightly and waving at the crowd in front of them.

You wiped the forming tears away from the corners of your eyes and focused - you needed to properly see their faces to believe this was real.

From left to right they stood in a line. Lee Know, Han, I.N, Felix, Chan, Hyunjin, Changbin and Seungmin. Wearing black shirts and jeans with the SKZ logo on them. 

They walked straight to the front of the stage, looking down at the crowd around them, waving and making hand hearts just like you’ve seen them do in videos you’ve watched. Music blared up from around the arena, deafening you and causing your heartbeat to quicken. Astronaut’s introduction started playing, causing even more screams to erupt from around you. Words couldn’t describe this feeling, and you had to remind yourself several times to keep breathing.

Gina turned to look at you, screaming in excitement and grabbing your wrists with joy, encouraging you to get hype with her. You quickly play along and watch the boys perform, their every move razor sharp and masterfully synchronized. You made sure to take photos and videos whenever you could to save the memory of being this close to them, being in the same space as them.

* * *

##### The concert continued.

So far they’d performed Astronaut, Voices, My Pace, I Am You and Miroh. Your feet ached and sweat formed on your brow from all the dancing and singing you’d been doing - you dreaded to think how you must look right now, not that it really bothered you that much. You didn’t want this night to end. You were on such a high that any feeling of anxiety had all but vanished, leaving you in the moment of this blissful place.

The boys lined up on stage together, grabbing towels and bottles of water from in front of them to try and recover from the intense performances. Even soaked in sweat and out of breath, they looked unreal. You were closest to Lee Know and Han’s end of the stage, so you could clearly see their features under the bright spotlights aimed at them. Han’s blonde hair stuck to his forehead and he ran his fingers through it, tussling it as he did so. He lifted the hem of shirt and shook it to get some air through it in an attempt to cool himself down, allowing you a very brief glimpse of his abs from where you were standing. You clamped your hands over your mouth in shock and again, reminded yourself to keep breathing. Jesus, he looked too good to be real. Lee Know moved closer to Han, draping his arm around him casually which resulted in a further scream from the audience. You couldn’t help but feel like he knew exactly what he was doing. They’re spot on with their fan service, you chuckled to yourself.

Gina was still next to you, cooing and screaming in glee every time one of the boys spoke, shouting their names to try and get their attention. She was so loud, it was a wonder they couldn’t actually hear her - her shouting was hurting your ears even with all the other noise going on.

Then something you weren’t quite expecting happened.

“JISUNG! HAN JISUNG!! WE LOVE YOU!” Gina screeched from next to you. This time, you covered your ears to try and protect your eardrums from the impact, glaring at Gina. When you turned back to look at the stage, your eyes met.

Han Jisung was staring straight at you.

Your hands were still over your ears, and to your complete surprise, Jisung slowly lifted his own hands to cover his ears, copying your current position. Your heart stopped and the hairs on your neck stood up.

_No. Coincidence… right? He can’t be looking at me._

You slowly dropped one hand and placed it on your chest, feeling your hammering heartbeat.

Jisung mimicked your actions again, dropping one hand to his chest, never breaking eye contact with you.

“What… is happening…” You whispered to yourself, gripping hold of the metal railing in front of you to steady yourself as you felt your knees go weak.

During this ‘exchange’ the members had been interacting with the crowd, giving speeches and thanking everyone for coming, and it became Han’s turn to do his. He seemed to snap back to attention and went through the motions of his speech. Gina didn’t seem to notice what had just happened either, and you still didn’t quite believe that it had.

The next song was Victory Song, one of your favourites. For the first time the boys made use of the thrust stage that took them into the centre of the crowd, running up and down it, pausing to wave at fans.

You’d decided to write off that little incident since Han hadn’t looked your way since then. He was just doing what he did best - fan service. And you knew that. Although you had to admit having a man that beautiful look straight at you made you feel things you’d never felt before and weren’t sure you’d ever feel again.

Getting back into the performance, you cheered and sang along with Gina as the members ran up the thrust stage.

That was when Jisung stopped in front of you.

You looked up towards him, your eyes meeting. The same feeling of fire swept over you just as it had before. He squatted on the stage above you, leaning down towards you and reaching out his hand.

Every girl around you was screaming with glee, reaching out for his hand over the barrier, loving the fan service he was providing. But you felt differently. You didn’t feel like this was fan service. The way he was looking into your eyes, it was just so, _intimate_. Almost instinctively, you reached out your hand to touch his among the many other hands that were pining for him. You looked up at him, and there was absolutely no doubt that it was you who he was looking at. It was you he was reaching out his hand to. He wanted to touch _you._

Suddenly, he jumped off the thrust stage. Landing with a graceful pounce, he walked the small distance from the stage to the barrier. Straight towards you. His hair still clung to his face, beads of sweat tracing his neck and collarbone.

Your breathing erratic and hands sweaty, your mind starting racing. He approached the barrier and leaned towards you, hands from other girls trying to touch him while the screams around you only got louder. He was close enough to smell. Close enough to touch. It was intoxicating.

Taking your hand in his, he yanked his in-ear mic out and leaned in next to your ear, his breath hot on your neck.

“What’s your name?” He shouted. His voice was like honey, and it made you quiver just hearing him so close to you. You could barely form a reply.

“Y/N!” You shouted back as best you could. He pulled away from you to look back into your eyes, his breathing heavy. Your hand was still in his, and he lifted it to place your hand on his chest, just as he had mimicked you doing earlier. You could feel the heat coming from his body. He was firm to the touch and slightly damp from the sweat, making your mind do somersaults at the image of what was underneath that shirt. Leaning in close to your ear again, he whisper-shouted.

“You’re beautiful.”

You’d stopped breathing properly the moment he’d jumped off the stage, and none of what was happening was really processing with you right now. Eyes wide and mouth agape, you said nothing back. You just stared at the man standing in front of you, who still had your hand held tightly under his, placed over his heaving chest. Time seemed to stop around you, and it felt like you were stood there forever.

“HEY!” You could just make out the sound of someone shouting from behind Jisung, and looking up to the stage you saw Minho gesturing for him to come back up. Jisung snapped his head backwards to see his member, then turned back to you. Flashing you a bright smile and a wink, he dropped your hand and pulled away, running back to the stage. Minho pulled him up, giving him a look that clearly meant 'What the fuck was that about?’. Jisung shrugged it off and ran back up the length of the thrust stage, singing and waving as he went. Minho glanced back at you, the look he gave you sending shivers down your spine. Reluctantly he followed Jisung, getting back into the performance.

Reality set in and the concert continued as if nothing had happened. You hadn’t moved an inch since Jisung had come to you, and you were pretty sure you looked so whacked out that Gina had to shake you back to your senses. You almost forgot other people were even here.

“You lucky bitch!” She shouted at you, slapping your back playfully as she succeeded in bringing you back down to earth.

“What did he say?” She asked, jumping up and down with excitement. You shook your head and shrugged your shoulders, trying to process what had just happened and get some kind of control back. Gina laughed and threw her arm around you, encouraging you to enjoy the rest of the concert with her.

You tried your best but for the rest of the night, you couldn’t shake the feeling of electricity that lingered in your hand from where he had touched you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	4. Integration

##### Screaming and cheering filled your ears, overwhelming your senses.

The lights in the arena flicked on harshly, illuminating the crowd and signalling to everyone that the show was over. The boys had disappeared backstage after their final encore and big goodbye, and your heart sank.

This was an experience that you wouldn’t soon forget. Not only had you managed to see Stray Kids for real, but you’d also had an interaction with Jisung that would stay with you for the rest of your life.

The tingling sensation in your hand had faded, leaving only the memory of him being so close to you. A memory of him telling you that _you were beautiful._ If you had any sort of inferiority complex before this, it was surely cured with those words.

You sighed heavily, throwing your leather jacket over your arm and followed Gina out of the arena, towards the exit. The crowds of people all heading for the same place caused you to get pushed about a bit, but it didn’t seem to bother you as much as it would have before. Perhaps all the excitement of the evening was finally getting to you, manifesting itself as exhaustion. Jesus, you were tired. Or were you just high from the constant adrenaline rush you’d been experiencing? You couldn’t really tell anymore.

Standing in the crowd of people you shuffled along with everyone else towards the exit, keeping Gina’s bright green hair in view just to remind yourself you weren’t alone. The crowd eventually came to a stop in the lobby of the arena, as people looked around for their friends and chatted excitedly, sharing photos and videos of the evening. You could feel the cool breeze of the city outside coming from the open double doors washing over you, and it felt good. You closed your eyes and let it embrace you. Taking a deep breath of the cool air seemed to stabilise your head a lot, helping you form coherent thoughts.

Then you felt an arm on yours.

You were snapped out of your moment of tranquillity and whipping your head around, you were greeted by the sight of two men in black suits with in-ear mics equipped to their heads. One of them had his hand on your arm, not strongly or with any real force, but enough for you to realise he was trying to pull you towards him. You staggered backwards, trying to free your arm from his grasp.

“Are you Miss. Y/N?” The man with his hand on you asked. You nodded reluctantly, still trying to shake your arm free.

“Please,” the man asked. “Come with me, there’s someone who wants to see you if you don’t mind.”

You started to panic, looking around for any signs of someone who could help. You’d lost sight of Gina, and while there were a few people looking at you and the man, they didn’t seem like they’d be willing to help. They were looking at you like you’d been caught stealing. You quickly realised that making a scene here would probably end up with things being worse for you, especially with all the phones that were around right now.

You nodded again, moving towards the man as he released his grip on your arm and indicated for you to walk with him. You did, and he placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you through the crowds. The other man walked ahead, clearing a path as you followed hesitantly. Your mind was racing and you longed for the brief moment of clarity you’d had earlier. This was crazy.

“Uh, so who wants to see me? Where are we going?” You asked the man next to you, not being able to conceal the tone of panic in your voice. He noticed this and did his best to reassure you.

“You’re not in any trouble Miss Y/N, please try not to worry. We were asked to escort you to someone before you left, and they asked us not to disclose who they are. You’re not in any danger, I assure you.”

You appreciated his effort but it did nothing to ease your mind.

You were guided through a Staff Only area, walking down long corridors with doors on every side. Other people rushed through the corridors, making way for your escort when needed. You caught the various signs on the doors, some reading ‘Green Room’ and 'VIP’. After what seemed like forever, you stopped in front of a door with no sign on it. The man in front of you stood to the side of the door, signalling for you to go inside. You looked at him with a puzzled expression, pointing at yourself and then the door, just to be sure. He nodded and gestured again, encouraging you to go in.

You approached the door and turned the handle, opening it slowly. The pit in your stomach was worse than before, making you feel sick as the insanity of what you were doing dawned on you. This could really end badly. What was worse was that it could end badly, and no one would even know. You were here alone, and you didn’t know anyone here. Had you even told anyone you were coming to this concert? Your mind was fuzzy and you couldn’t remember. What if something happened? Someone asked these men to get you? Who could possibly want to see you? Who-

“Y/N!” Said that familiar voice. That honey-like voice that made your heart skip a beat. Your breath hitched in your chest.

You’d stepped into a small, sparsely furnished room with vanity mirrors and chairs lining one side of the wall. It looked like a dressing room. And sat on the small desk was Han Jisung. From Stray Kids. Holy lord.

“Y/N?” He repeated again, looking at you from where he was sat. He threw his phone from his hand on to the table and hopped off, walking towards you slowly.

“It is Y/N, right?” He asked once again after getting no answer from you. You shook your head and slowly let out a breath.

“Y- Yes, sorry. Yes, that’s my name…” You nodded in response. Jisung cocked his head and smiled brightly at you, still walking towards you. He’d changed from his stage outfit and was now wearing tight fitting leather trousers with a large white shirt and a thin chain necklace. His blonde hair was fluffy and looked so soft swept back over his eyes.

“Great!” He beamed. “Hey, I hope you don’t mind me doing this. I just couldn’t think of any other way for us to meet aside from this. I hope it didn’t cause you too much trouble.” He pouted as he said that last part, making your heart do flips.

“No, it’s okay…” You laughed nervously, not sure of what else to say.

Jisung came closer to you, taking small steps as if not wanting to scare you away. You unconsciously took a step backwards, tightening your grip on the leather jacket that was still hung over your arm. You realised you’d been gripping it so tightly that your nails were starting to hurt. Your back was now up against the door, and Jisung didn’t stop coming closer.

“So…” He muttered, looking straight at you. “I know you’re a fan, obviously. And I just wanted to tell you that you caught my eye tonight.”

 _Caught his eye? What?_ The look on your face must have told him you were confused.

“You see… red is my favourite colour. And that top… on you? It really stands out.” He continued. You couldn’t help but notice how his tone of voice had changed. His honey voice was now raspy, and it seemed to get worse the closer he got to you. He was now only a few steps away.

“I don’t usually do these things…” he went on. “When I jumped off the stage, it was more just a test. I wanted to see if I was right about that feeling I got when we locked eyes. If I was wrong I would have just played it off as fan service and left it there. But I was right… wasn’t I? I know you felt it too… when our hands touched. That electricity between us…” He whispered. He was whispering because he was now just a few inches away from you. Your shoulders tensed and breathing hitched as he swept his hair back away from his eyes, putting his arm up against the door behind you to close you in. With his other hand, he lifted your chin to make you look at him.

His eyes were hooded, and you could feel his breathing get heavier. His scent washed over you, an intoxicating mix of what seemed like soap and vanilla, causing you to close your eyes and take it in. You let your head fall back against the wall, exposing your lips. You fluttered open your eyes to take him in. The gaze he gave you sent shivers down your spine, your mind was now totally blank. Jisung leaned in next to your ear.

“Tell me I was right…” He whispered breathily, grazing his lips softly along your earlobe, sending tingles through your body.

He was right. You had felt it, and you wanted nothing more than to feel it again.

“You were right… Jisung…” You sighed as his lips continued to trace your ear and the side of your neck. With that, he turned his face towards yours and, painfully slowly, leaned in towards your lips until they finally made contact.

His lips were soft, and so gentle that it made you want to cry. His arm wound around your waist, pulling your body flush against his as he gently deepened the kiss. Unconsciously you dropped your jacket, using one hand to reach up and caress his neck, tracing his jawline. You could feel your heart pounding through your chest and were so sure that Jisung would be able to feel it too. Fuck it, you thought. This was a dream, it had to be. And in dreams, you can do whatever you want, right?

On that logic, you threw your other arm around Jisung’s neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling slightly. You were rewarded with a small moan from Jisung, a sound so fucking beautiful that it instantly made you wet. You felt Jisung smile against your lips, and he gently ran his teeth along your lower lip, sinking them in and pulling to get you to open your mouth. You did so willingly, and he slipped his tongue inside. This time it was your turn to moan, which seemed to have the same effect on Jisung as it did to you. He pulled you in tighter at the sound, your tongues still dancing around each other. The heat from his body made you dizzy, and you could feel his growing erection against your body as he pulled you closer still. His arm moved from around your waist and he broke this kiss, looking down at you with black eyes filled with lust, lips slightly redder than they were before. God, he looked fucking hot.

“This…” He muttered as he pulled at the hem of your red lace top, “… should be illegal. Do you have any idea what this does to a man?”

You didn’t have time to give an answer, and weren’t sure he even wanted one as he grabbed the top of your favourite shirt, sliding it down over your stomach, exposing your bra. You gasped in surprise and suddenly felt very conscious of what was happening. You moved your arm from his neck to try and cover yourself, but Jisung stopped you, forcing your arm back around his neck

“Just trust me…” He hummed. You nodded in consent and shut your eyes tightly, feeling the heat burn in your cheeks.

He placed a thumb and forefinger over the seam of your strapless bra, pulling it down gently over your breasts, freeing them. You risked opening one of your eyes, looking at Jisung. His expression was fierce, as if he was actively trying to control himself from ripping all your clothes off. It made you feel things that you’d never felt. Looking as if he couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed you back against the door and clamped his lips over your nipple, sucking and teasing the sensitive skin with his teeth. You moaned loudly, throwing your head back and winding your fingers through his hair as he worked your body, making you squeeze your thighs together in pleasure. You were painfully aware of the wetness you were experiencing down there, it was driving you crazy. He never let up his assault, using one hand to touch and massage the breast that he wasn’t nipping at. You’d never felt so good. You desperately needed him inside you.

“Jisung… I…” You moaned through flushed lips. But you were interrupted by the sound of a door slamming open-

“HAN, _what the fuck?!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	5. Separation

##### “HAN, what the fuck?!”

Your eyes flew open as you were cruelly pulled from the trance you were under. Jisung stopped what he was doing and positioned himself in front of you to protect your modesty from the intruders. He pulled your top back up over you, rolling his eyes and sighing as he turned to face the door you hadn’t noticed at the opposite side of the room, visibly annoyed at the interruption. Peering over his shoulder, you saw the members of Stray Kids stood in the doorway, mouths agape and staring.

Chan was at the front of the group, you assumed he must have been the one to open the door and shout the expletives at Jisung after seeing what you were doing. Changbin and Felix stood to his left, Changbin smirking straight at you as Felix had has hand clamped over his mouth in shock, eyes wide. Hyunjin stood behind Jeongin and Seungmin, each of his hands covering the younger boys eyes to shield them from the view as he just stared. And right at the back stood Minho. His face looked expressionless, as if he wasn’t even interested in what was going on in front him.

“What’s up guys…” Jisung choked out the words, running his fingers through his hair while avoiding eye contact with them. Chan’s eyes darted between Jisung and you repeatedly, absorbing the scene.

He cleared his throat and moved into the room, the members following him reluctantly.

“We wondered where you’d gone off to.” He said, sitting down on one of the chairs in front of a mirror. He tussled his dark brown hair and looked at you through the mirror, the judgement clear on his face.

“Now it makes sense…” He sighed. Jisung rubbed the back of his neck nervously, letting out a small laugh.

“Yeah, uh, sorry about that. This is Y/N, by the way.” He gestured towards you. You suddenly became extremely aware of the disheveled state you were in. Still breathing erratically and clearly flustered from your encounter, you grabbed your jacket from the floor and turned to leave as quickly as you could, not being able to bare the embarrassment of the whole situation, especially in front of these people you’d adored for so long.

“Woah woah woah…” Cooed Changbin as he rushed to your side. He grabbed your hand, pulling it away from the door handle.

“Where do you think you’re going Y/N? We’ve only just met!” He flashed a bright smile at you, making dimples appear on his cheeks. You couldn’t look him straight in the eye.

“Come!” He commanded as he dragged you to a row of chairs, taking a seat on the far end. “Sit.” He smiled again, patting the seat next to him. You weren’t really in a position to argue, so you complied and sat next to him. Looking around the room you could see the other members still staring, burning holes into you with their gazes. All but Minho, who had taken a spot in the corner. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, legs outstretched and playing on his phone. Completely uninterested in what was going on.

“So…” Chan sighed again, turning to face you completely. “Care to explain?”

Jisung moved to take the seat the other side of you so you were sat in between him and Changbin.

“What do you want me to say hyung?” He replied. “I saw her during the concert and asked if I could see her afterwards. The Manager gave the okay, sent some guys to get her, and here we are.”

Chan crossed his arms over his chest. “So you’ve known her for all of five minutes?” He obviously knew the answer.

Jisung nodded, placing his hand on your leg affectionately. You flinched a little at the contact, you were still highly strung after what happened earlier.

“So wouldn’t that make her fair game for everyone?” Changbin stated matter-of-factly, a smirk on his lips. Jisung glared at him.

“No it fucking wouldn’t.”

“Well doesn’t she have anything to say?” Another voice chimed in. Hyunjin had released Seungmin and Jeongin and was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest nonchalantly. “You’ve been awfully quiet.” He directed at you, cocking his head.

All eyes were already on you, but the direct question made you even more self conscious. You squirmed in your seat, fiddling with the zip of the jacket in your lap, trying to think of something reasonable to say in this situation. You cleared your throat nervously.

“I’m a huge fan and I love you all!” You blurted out, before realising what you’d said.

Laughter erupted from around the room, those familiar laughs that you’d heard in compilation videos of Stray Kids members. It was a healing sound, and it did relieve a bit of the tension in the room. You turned to look at Jisung who was laughing and shaking his head with a look of disbelief on his face. Much to your surprise, Felix rushed over to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and squeezing you tightly.

“I like her.” He stated, releasing you from his embrace and smiling brightly at you. His freckles were just barely visible under the light makeup he was wearing.

“Me too!” Exclaimed Jeongin, bouncing happily up and down from his position of sitting cross legged on the floor.

“You don’t even know her…” Seungmin muttered under his breath, earning a glare from Jeongin and Jisung.

“So…” Seungmin said. “What happens now?”

Everyone turned to look at him.

“Well she can’t just leave, right?” He stated. The other members looked confused.

“Look…” he turned to face you, “I get that you’re a fan. And I really don’t mean to cause you any offence by saying this, but, what’s to say you won’t leave here and go straight to the media with this story? Or talk about it online? You could say anything you wanted, make Han-hyung out to be some kind of pervert or even say that he forced you to do things. This kind of scandal ruins idols. We can’t afford that kind of attention, ever. I don’t understand why the Manager approved of this, it was stupid.” He explained. His tone was soft, but his words stung more than you expected. You would never do anything to hurt these boys, if anything you would go out of your way to protect them. But Seungmin was right, they didn’t know you and they had no reason to trust you right now.

“I would never do that!” You protested, feeling a lump forming in your throat. Jisung put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him and stroking your hair gently.

“Seungmin-sii, I get where you’re coming from, but it’s wrong to assume that people will always try to fuck you over. I know we’ve only just met, but I can promise you that Y/N isn’t like that.” He tried to reason with his members.

Chan stood up from his seat and moved to crouch in front of you. His expression was firm, his dark eyes piercing into you. He placed a gentle hand on your knee.

“Y/N. Can you honestly, sincerely, promise me, that no one else finds about what happened here tonight?” He asked you softly. The lump in your throat was making it difficult for you to speak. You could feel tears forming and you desperately willed yourself not to start sobbing. Why did your first interaction with Stray Kids have to be like this? You’d only ever dreamed of being able to talk to them like this, of hanging out with them, being friends with them. But here you were, an object of suspicion and distrust to them. And you couldn’t blame them for that.

“I promise.” You nodded, placing your hand on Chan’s and squeezing it tightly. The words came out as a whisper, but you made sure to look him straight in the eye. To try and make him understand that they could trust you. That you would _never_ risk doing anything that could hurt them. Chan nodded at you slowly, seemingly satisfied with your response.

“Changbin-hyung, pass me my phone.” Jisung said from next to you. Changbin turned to the table behind him, reaching for Jisung’s smartphone and tossing it to him. Jisung caught it deftly and tapped his password into the lock screen.

“Here…” he said softly as he gave you his phone. You took it reluctantly, not understanding what he wanted.

“Give me your number.” He asked. Your eyes went wide and you shot a look at Chan, who was still crouched down in front of you. He nodded in approval. With shaky hands, you entered your number into Jisung’s phone, passing it back to him when you were done. He called the number almost immediately, causing a vibration to go off from the pocket of your jacket.

“Now you have mine too.” He smiled.

“Well at least we know we can contact her when this does all go to shit and we need to sue her.” Seungmin stated as he rolled his eyes. Hyunjin scoffed at the comment, while Felix slapped him on the shoulder, glaring at him. His words hurt, but you reminded yourself that you needed to earn their trust. And that was exactly what you were going to do.

“Okay then!” Chan exclaimed as he stood up from his spot, causing you to stand up too. “We really need to get going guys, the staff will be waiting for us.”

The members got up from their places and headed for the door you’d been pushed up against only moments earlier. The memory made your cheeks flush.

“See ya Y/N!” Jeongin shouted over his shoulder as he was the first to leave. Hyunjin and Seungmin followed behind him, with Hyunjin waving in your general direction as Seungmin said nothing. Felix came over to you, embracing you tightly again. “It was nice to meet you.” He smiled. Changbin took your hand in his and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, making Jisung swing for him. “Later baby!” He chuckled as he ran away giggling. Chan also came over to you, taking both your hands in his one strong hand. You couldn’t help but notice the veins in his arms, you felt like he could break you if he wanted. The thought made you shudder.

“I really hope you keep your promise, Y/N. We’re taking a big chance on you here.” He smiled softly at you. Patting you on the shoulder, he turned to head for the door.

“Minho, let’s bounce.” He called as he walked into the corridor. You’d almost forgotten that Minho was even here, he’d said nothing this entire time.

He stood up lazily from his spot on the floor, shoving his phone into his jeans pocket. Jisung was still stood next to you. He ran his finger through his dark grey hair, sweeping it backwards and cracking his neck to stretch it out. He walked straight past you and Jisung, stopping only when he got to the door. He turned to look at you, his feline-like eyes dark and his face void of expression. His strong features were striking, he looked even more handsome in real life and it caught you by surprise.

“Let’s go, Sungie…” He murmured softly, his voice heavy with a tone that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Was it desire? Anger? Whatever it was, it sent chills up your spine and excited you at the same time.

Jisung visibly tensed up at the sound of that nickname. You couldn’t clearly see his expression because his hair was over his eyes and his back was turned slightly towards you, but you could feel the change in the air. What was happening?

Minho smirked, clearly pleased with the reaction he got and the confusion on your face, and left the room.

“Jisung…?” You called his name, putting your hand on his shoulder. He seemed to snap back to attention as he turned to you, that beautiful smile back on his face.

“I gotta go Y/N. I’m sorry about all this…” He laughed nervously. “Guess I just couldn’t control myself.”

You shook your head and looked up at him. You wanted to take in every bit of his face, you wanted to savour this moment as the cruel reality was setting in. They had to leave, and you were never going to see them again. You had kissed Jisung only moments earlier, he had made you feel things that you never thought you would, but already the memory was slipping away from you. Looking at his lips you just wanted to claim them for your own. You wanted him so much more now.

“Please don’t be upset. We’ll stay in touch, we swapped numbers, right?” He smiled again, weaker this time. You both knew this was a lie.

“Han!” Someone shouted from the corridor. Jisung came closer to you, pulling you into his arms. You buried your head into his chest, inhaling deeply and slowly. Soap and vanilla, it was heavenly. Tears formed in your eyes again, but this time you couldn’t stop them. They flowed down your cheeks, staining his white shirt as you buried closer into him. His arms around you held you tighter, you felt so secure.

“HAN-AH!” Came another shout, louder this time. Jisung moved away from you, holding you at arms length. You looked up at him and noticed his eyes seemed redder than before.

“I really have to go. Take care of yourself, okay?” He said softly.

Giving you a weak smile and a quick kiss, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

And your world collapsed around you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	6. Reality

##### It had been 3 weeks since the concert in London.

You had returned to your normal, every day life. Except everything was far from normal. Nothing was okay.

Every morning you woke up for work with a pain in your chest, so profound that you felt it might split open. Over the course of the day it would ease, but never disappear. Going about your normal routine was automatic to you now. You didn’t put any effort or attention into anything you were doing, because you just couldn’t. You couldn’t focus or function like you used to. This hadn’t gone unnoticed by your work colleagues, who would often ask if you were okay or try to bring you out of your head by giving you things to do or inviting you places. Of course, you always smiled and said you were fine, politely declining their invitations. You knew they meant well, but you also knew nothing they could do or say would fill this void inside your heart.

The weekends were even worse. Before that night, you would usually spend your weekends playing games on your PlayStation 4, watching videos of Stray Kids on YouTube while enjoying delicious food and good wine. But now, the only thing you did was drink. You couldn’t bring yourself to watch videos of them, listen to their music or even check any kind of social media to see what they were up to. It would just hurt you. You didn’t even drink because you enjoyed it, but because it numbed the pain enough for you to be able to function, until eventually it made you too sleepy to stay awake. You’d usually pass out after your third bottle, making the nights go by quicker. But that was what you wanted. Less time awake meant less time hurting.

Days passed by, turning to weeks. And over that time you thought of nothing but that night. You cried at the memory of meeting your idols, of speaking to them and exposing (albeit accidentally), such a vulnerable side of yourself to them. You smiled at the sheer memory of their faces, the looks they gave you and kind words they shared. And then you would think of him. Han Jisung. Your mind was filled with him, with the memory of his lips on yours, his hands on your body, his heat consuming you. You were almost getting tired of touching yourself just to relieve the constant tension you felt, because it didn’t work. No matter how many times you brought yourself to orgasm, it was never enough for you. Nothing could satiate this thirst inside you. Nothing but him.

* * *

##### You were sat at your desk, another dull work day passing you by.

You mindlessly tapped away at your keyboard, putting data into a spreadsheet for an upcoming event that your company was organising. Nothing too interesting.

Then your phone went off. A shrill notification sound that surprised you. You picked up your phone from the small stand on your desk and tapped the screen awake, seeing a text message icon. Strange. No one ever texted you.

Furrowing your brows, you unlocked your phone and tapped the notification. It was from an unrecognised number.

Rolling your eyes, you quickly tapped a reply.

 _[10:47]_ _Is this Y/N’s phone?_

You weren’t in the mood for this.

[10:48] Who is this?

 _[10:49]_ _Wow, you really didn’t save my number? I’m so offended._

[10:51] Should I have your number saved? Do I know you?

 _[10:52] R_ _eally can’t believe you’d forget about me this quick. I know I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you._

Your heart stopped. How could you have forgotten that you’d had his number **this entire time?!** You’d been so caught up in your own depression and self-wallowing that you’d forgotten possibly the most important thing to come from that night. A way to speak to him again. A way to be closer to him. You could have kicked yourself. You quickly saved his number to your contacts - _Jisung_ ❤

Palms sweaty, you tapped a reply.

[10:56] Oh my god Jisung, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I forgot I had your number. I thought I’d never see you again.

 _[10:58]_ _You seriously forgot lol? Kinda lost for words here Y/N…_

[10:59] I know, I’m a terrible person. I really don’t have an excuse. I guess my head was all over the place.

 _[11:01]_ _No worries, just glad I texted you first. I’d have been waiting forever for you to get in touch otherwise._

[11:02] I’m sorry…

 _[11:03]_ _So… how have you been?_

* * *

##### Days were better now.

The stinging sensation in your chest and the pit in your stomach never disappeared, but it had definitely eased. This hadn’t gone unnoticed by people around you, who commented on how much brighter you looked.

You were hooked to your phone, butterflies forming in your stomach every time a notification sound went off. You’d set a special tone to Jisung’s contact so you’d know immediately when it was him texting you. A high-pitched soft dinging sound that you just lived for these days.

Your text conversations with Jisung were never too heavy, talking about your days and what you were doing, although of course his days were much more interesting than yours would ever be. You couldn’t help but feel the privilege that came with speaking to him - knowing Stray Kids schedule was something only a very select few got access to, and now you were one of those people. Jisung would tell you where they’d been that day, what they’d done or recorded, where they’d performed and give you gossip on the members. It was like a dream. He would occasionally send you pictures of them that he’d taken without them knowing, or pictures of the sets and locations they were at. Pictures of the food he was eating when you’d asked him if he’d had lunch or dinner. As a fan, you found it utterly thrilling to be the first one to know all this insider information. As a woman, you craved for more.

Your interactions with Jisung had only made you fall more in love with him. You’d changed your phone background to his selfie, one he’d sent only to you. It was getting more and more difficult for you to hold back your feelings, and you wondered if he felt the same way. At first you were just grateful to be able to speak to him at all. But you hadn’t put a label on what your relationship was, and you found yourself thinking about it more often. Friends? You couldn’t help but feel like you more than that, but you just didn’t have the courage to ask. What if you were reading this whole situation wrong, and he really did just want a friend? Worse yet, he could just be keeping in touch with you to stay on your good side, to give you a reason not to publicise what had happened between you on the night of the concert. God, you didn’t want that to be true.

* * *

##### You were in your apartment, fresh out the shower after returning home from another mundane day at work.

Holding a towel around you with one hand, you walked out the bathroom and into your small bedroom, grabbing your phone from the bed and tapping the screen to see no new messages or notifications. Your stomach sank as you pouted and threw your phone back on the bed. You hadn’t heard from Jisung all day. You assumed he must be busy and walked to your wardrobe to grab some clothes, tucking a section of the towel under your arm to secure it in place.

Suddenly, your phone rang. Stopping what you were doing you ran to the bed and grabbed it, almost tripping over your own feet. You checked the caller ID - _Jisung_ ❤

Not even thinking twice, you answered the call.

“H- hello?”

 _“Y/N… that you?_ ”

Oh god, his voice. That honey voice that made you melt. You sat on the edge of the bed, mainly to stop your knees from giving way.

“Yeah, it’s me… hi.”

_“I’m sorry for calling you. I just… I think I wanted to hear your voice.”_

You chuckled under your breath, scooting up the bed until your back was against the headboard.

“You think?”

_“No… I know I did. I’ve wanted to call you for a while. Are you off work?”_

He had a raspier tone to his voice, it made you shudder.

“Yeah, I finished a while ago.”

_“So you’re home? What are you doing right now?”_

“I just got out the shower, was about to watch a movie or something I guess.”

There was a slight pause before he replied.

_“The shower, huh?”_

“Yeah… although you called me just before I could get dressed.”

Another pause.

“ _So… you’re not wearing anything right now then?_ ”

His voice had dropped a tone, sounding deeper than before. You looked down at yourself.

“Just a towel…”

You couldn’t be sure, but you swore you heard a very slight, sharp inhalation of breath from Jisung when you said this. There was another pause.

“Jisung? You there?” You asked tentatively.

_“Take it off.”_

His words came out almost as a whisper, but they sent chills through your body. Lying back against the headboard, you opened your towel as he’d asked, revealing your naked body.

“It’s off…”

_“Go to your bed.”_

“I’m already here…”

Your skin began to burn with heat, your fingers unconsciously tracing the ridge between your breasts and down your chest.

_“Touch yourself for me, baby.”_

This was a command, and you willingly complied. His voice was laced with lust and it drove you crazy. Slowly gliding your fingers over your stomach, you reached down to your pussy, sliding your fingers through your already wet folds, letting out a small moan as you did so.

_“Are you touching yourself? Talk to me baby…”_

“Yes…” You panted through the phone.

_“Fuck… tell me how it feels.”_

You moved your fingers to circle over your clitoris, your body craving more as the sound of Jisung’s voice sent you over the edge.

“It feels so good Ji…” You moaned again. Your fingers picked up the pace over your clit, images in your head of Jisung being the one touching you, imagining feeling his breath hot on your neck as he whispered in your ear.

_“Fuck, you’re such a bad girl baby. Are you getting yourself off to me?”_

You arched your back, sinking into the bed and squeezing your eyes shut tight as you got lost in the moment.

“All I ever think about is you… I need you so fucking badly Ji…”

_“Shit… if you keep going like that I’m gona have to seriously go deal with this hard on you’re giving me right now, fuck the shoot.”_

You let out a small laugh, the idea of him doing this with you while he was at a shoot turned you on even more.

“I’d rather you just fuck me…”

You slipped a finger inside yourself, letting out another moan as you worked your g-spot, stopping only to rub your clit. You were getting close, feeling the pressure building in your heat.

_“You gona cum for me baby?”_

Jisung taunted you, his soft voice deep and filled with lust in your ear.

_“Cum for me, Y/N… call my name baby…”_

He commanded, his words being all it took for you to reach your high. Your body spasmed and you moaned loudly, calling Jisung’s name as the pressure inside you released into a feeling of total pleasure, washing over your body and making you dizzy.

You laid on the bed with your body still exposed. Your orgasm had taken everything out of you, leaving you with a feeling of bliss.

_“You drive me crazy. You know that right?”_

Jisung’s voice was still heavy with desire, clearly being unable to relieve himself the way you just did considering where he was right now. You sighed heavily and chuckled at the same time.

“Hey, I was only following your orders…”

_“Right…”_

There was a pause before Jisung spoke again, as if he was hesitating with his next words.

 _“Y/N?”_ He finally said softly.

You hummed in response, encouraging him to continue and too tired out to form actual words.

_“We can’t keep going like this. I need you too badly. Move to Korea.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	7. Apprehension

##### “…Move to Korea.”

You instantly sat upright, almost dropping your phone. You couldn’t believe what you’d just heard.

“Are you serious?!” You choked.

_“I’ve never been more serious about anything. This is killing me. You can’t tell me you’ve been the same since that night Y/N. Why are we putting ourselves through this when it would be so easy for us to just fix it?”_

Your mind was running wild, trying to process what Jisung was saying.

“But, I… I can’t just up and leave everything, that’s insane!" You exclaimed.

 _"Why not?”_ he asked, huffing down the phone. _“I know it would be a big change but is there anything that’s really keeping you in that town?”_

You paused at his words. Thinking about it, there really was nothing keeping you here. You had no family or friends here and your job wasn’t exactly a promising career path for you. Maybe you could just go…

_“… Don’t you want to be with me?”_

Oh god, there it was. You did want to be with him, you wanted it desperately. It was the only thing you were sure of that could heal this pain you’d had since the concert.

“I do! I really do. I just… I’ve never even thought about leaving this place and now I’m considering moving to the other side of the world!” You laughed in disbelief at yourself.

_“It’ll be worth it, Y/N. I’ll help you with everything, I know some people that can fix you up with a place over here and maybe even a job. If I had my way I’d have you here in the dorms but I don’t think the company would be too happy about that.”_

“Jisung, stop, please. Can I just think about this first?”

You needed to end this conversation before it got any more crazy. You needed to clear your head that was spinning from so many thoughts and possibilities.

 _“Think about it? What’s there to think about? It’s simple.”_ He stated.

You could feel yourself getting annoyed. He had just suggested that you uproot your life and move to other side of the world like it was the easiest thing to do. Like you could even afford to do that. You couldn’t help but feel like he hadn’t thought this through at all or considered your situation. And honestly, how could he have? He still didn’t really know you all that well. You’d never talked about anything deeper than what you’d had for lunch that day. The visceral attraction between the two of you had been the starting point, and while your feelings for him had only grown deeper, your actual relationship had never developed into much more. You were confused and angry. You needed answers.

“What even are we, Jisung?” You stated coldly. There was a pause before he replied.

_“What do you mean?”_

Anger burned up your chest.

“I meant exactly what I said. What are we? Are we friends? Acquaintances? Something more? You tell me you can’t be without me and ask me to move to the other side the of the world… I know I want to be with you Ji. Fuck, I want it so badly. But only if I can _be_ with you. Belong to you.”

You regretted the words the moment they left your mouth, weeks of pent up emotions flowing out of you like water. Had you been too harsh?

There was silence on the end of the phone. You glanced at the screen just to make sure the call was still going. It was.

_“I just like you, Y/N. I don’t know what you want me to say.”_

His voice sounded sad. You could have kicked yourself, you couldn’t believe you’d gone off on him like that.

“Okay…” You replied. “I like you too… for what it’s worth.”

You could hear the sounds of metal against metal coming from the phone and shouting in the background.

_“Look, I need to go. I’ve just been called for the shoot. But please think about this seriously. I may not have all the answers you want right now but I promise you, I’ll support you with this. I want you here.”_

His words reassured you, but you still felt bad for losing your cool.

“I will think about, I promise.”

 _“Great. I’ll text you later?”_ you could hear him smiling, you just hoped it wasn’t forced.

“Sure.”You smiled back as best you could, hoping he’d hear it in your voice.

_“Bye, then.”_

The phone went dead, leaving you sitting in the silence of your room. Your head was spinning trying to go over everything that just happened.

Letting out a loud sigh, you threw yourself backwards into the pillows and shut your eyes, praying for sleep to consume you.

* * *

##### Another week had passed since your conversation with Jisung.

He hadn’t called you since then, and you were too nervous to make the first move. You still exchanged text messages, talking just as you did before, as if nothing had really happened. He was probably trying to give you your space. The way you’d snapped on him last time was probably a good indication for him that you didn’t want to be pressured into anything - he probably figured you’d bring it up again when you were ready.

But god, a part of you _wanted_ him to pressure you. Wanted him to beg you to move to him. Jesus, what was wrong with you? Had you always had this sadistic streak?

Either way, you had taken the time to consider what he’d asked of you. You’d weighed the pros and cons in your head, written lists and counted on your fingers all the reasons why you should stay or go. Every time you did, you could never find more reasons to stay where you were. The more you thought about it, the more your fear of change was outweighed by sheer excitement. This could really happen. You just needed to fucking do it.

* * *

##### [21:36] Hey, so guess what I did today 😊

You waited eagerly for his response as you sent him the text.

 _[21:39]_ _Went to the Moon?_

This was just like Jisung.

[21:41] Lol not quite… guess again

 _[21:42]_ _Discovered the meaning of life?_

[21:46]

[21:43] 🙄

 _[21:44] T_ _ell me baby_

You sent him a screenshot of the flight you’d booked earlier that day, waiting eagerly for his response as you plopped yourself onto the sofa in your now sparsely furnished apartment. You’d sold most of the furniture you wouldn’t be able to take with you, making sure to keep anything of sentimental value - which admittedly, wasn’t very much.

Your phone rang almost immediately.

_“You booked it!?”_

Jisung’s happy voice flooded through the phone, instantly making you smile.

“Yeah… I thought about it. I have nothing to lose. And you were right, there is nothing keeping me here. Life is for living right?” You chuckled.

_“You won’t regret this baby, I promise.”_

“I know… I’m sorry it took so long. I had some things to sort out. Had to quit my job, cancel the lease on my apartment…”

_“It’s okay, I’m just glad you agreed. But… you know that flight is for tomorrow?”_

“Yeah, I wanted it as soon as possible. Didn’t want to give myself a chance to think too much about it.” You explained.

_“So you get into Incheon as 08:50? I don’t think I’m gona be able to meet you at the airport Y/N, we have a recording that morning…”_

Your heart sank a little at this, but you didn’t want to show him your disappointment.

“Oh that’s okay! I booked it without telling you after all. I can make my own way around.” You reassured him.

_“Great! I’m gona need to get some stuff organised before you get here, I’ll text you later okay?”_

You hummed in response and said your goodbyes.

Looking around your bare apartment, you sighed in content. You’d miss this little haven you’d made for yourself.

You were experiencing many emotions right now. Sadness at leaving behind the only world you’d ever known, apprehension at the thought of such a big change, and excitement for this new adventure you were embarking on.

If only you’d known what was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	8. Day One

##### Today was the day.

The first step to your new life.

The flight here had been relatively uneventful, you were proud of yourself for even managing to get through it without breaking down entirely. Thank god for headphones and coffee, you thought.

You stepped off the plane and exited the gate, heading towards baggage claim to collect your belongings. People rushed around you trying to get where they needed to go, you had to make a conscious effort not to bump into someone at every turn you took.

Eventually finding and claiming your luggage, you secured your backpack tightly to you and popped the handle of your small red suitcase to pull it along. You hadn’t brought much with you, just clothes and few sentimental things that you didn’t want to leave behind - odds and ends that comforted you and gave you some sense of familiarity. Being in a new place, you figured you’d need that wherever you could get it.

Making your way to the airport proper, luggage in tow, you were greeted by the sight of huge glass windows that stretched from floor to ceiling, lining every wall around you. Large metal beams ran the length of the domed ceiling, only serving to make the airport look bigger. People bustled everywhere. Looking around for any indication of a taxi rank, you followed the signs until you ended up outside. Hailing the nearest taxi, you jumped into it and gave the driver the address of the apartment that Jisung had texted you earlier that day.

The apartment he’d arranged for you was apparently close to their dorms, even though you hadn’t asked him to do that. In fact you weren’t particularly bothered about the area you were living in at all as it made no difference to you either way, you didn’t know Seoul so wouldn’t have known if one area was better than another. All you’d told Jisung was that as long as there were shops and other facilities relatively nearby, you’d be happy.

The taxi set off, taking you deeper into the city. The first thing that you noticed was just how clean everything was. The streets were spotless, not a single piece of litter in sight with trees planted along every stretch of pavement and on every corner. It was so pretty - a far cry from the streets you were used to.

After what felt like an hour, the taxi pulled up outside a large apartment complex. You thanked the driver and paid the fare, hopping out of the car and taking your luggage from the boot.

The apartment building towered over you, it must have been at least 20 stories high. You pulled out your phone before going in to check the address again, memorising the number to your place. 209.

Entering the building, you walked down the carpeted corridor, getting in the elevator and punching in the number 2 from the panel. The elevator sparked to life and started moving, the doors jutting open slowly once you got to your floor.

An open-air walkway spanned the length of the building with apartment doors and small barred windows all the way along. Looking down over the railing you could see a small communal garden placed centrally on the ground floor, with benches and a picnic table. You wondered if the other tenants here had put that together or if it was something the building owners had done. Either way, it looked like a nice place to sit and read so you’d have to remember that it was there. Dragging your luggage behind you, you walked through the hallway, searching the doors for your apartment number.

Right at the back of the hallway, you found your apartment. Sliding up the security panel, you punched in the password that Jisung had already set for you. 2503. Cute.

You tentatively pushed the door open, not sure what to expect. A light automatically clicked on, surprising you. You kicked off your shoes, closing the door behind you and dragging your luggage up the small step to the living room. It was surprisingly spacious, not much smaller than your old apartment. It had light wooden flooring and clean beige wallpaper, with a small kitchen and breakfast bar. The counter tops were a dark marble granite while the cabinets were a sleek red colour, making the room pop with colour. A sofa and armchairs huddled in the other side of the room, with a wooden coffee table and flat screen tv in front of them. Soft white rugs had been placed under the coffee table. There were no pictures or anything particularly decorative hung on the walls, which you were glad about. You had an opportunity to make a home here, and putting up your own things would help make it feel like yours.

Leaving your luggage by the door and shrugging off your backpack, you took the chance to explore your new home. The bathroom was small, with only a shower installed. You internally whined when you saw it - you would miss taking baths. The bedroom was cosy, with a wooden wardrobe built into one wall and small bedside tables on either side of the double bed, which was centred in the room. More white rugs had been placed under the bed which served to make the room look softer.

Sitting on the bed and sighing in content, you decided you should probably let Jisung know you’d arrived safely. You wondered how long it would be until you’d get to see him again.

_[09:36] I’m here! Flight was fine, and the apartment is beautiful - thank you for sorting this out._

Throwing your phone on the bed, you decided it was time to unpack and start settling into your new home.

* * *

##### It was approaching midnight.

Jisung hadn’t texted you back, so you’d taken the time to organise your things. The apartment still looked bare, but you’d only just moved in. Over time it would start to look more like home. After you’d unpacked your things you had also taken a walk around the area, making mental notes of shops or other useful things nearby. Now the boredom was starting to set in.

“I need some fresh air…” you muttered to yourself. Heading to your front door, you slipped on your Vans and stepped out into the hallway. Leaning over the railing in front of your door, you looked down at the small garden below you. Lights had come on now that it was night time, illuminating the flower beds. It really was pretty. You let the cool night air wash over you, clearing your head of all thoughts.

That was when you felt arms wind around your waist. Your eyes flew open in surprise as you whipped your head around, only to be greeted by stunning auburn eyes, caramel skin and blonde hair. He was here.

“Jisung!” You practically squealed, throwing your arms around his neck. He giggled at your reaction.

“Hey, you. Long time no see.” He purred, his arms pulling you close to him in a tight embrace.

You pulled away to take a good look at him, absorbing every inch of his face. In the time you’d been apart you’d almost forgotten how utterly gorgeous he was. His long lashes, soft lips and strong jawline. He was breathtaking. It still felt unreal that he was even stood in front of you, much less that he was the one that wanted you here. Jisung squirmed under your gaze, a small smile on his lips.

“Do you have to stare so intensely?” He laughed.

You snapped out of your trance, shaking your head in apology and burying your head into his chest. He still smelled like soap and vanilla.

Wordlessly and never breaking your embrace, Jisung moved to your front door, sliding up the security panel and punching in the code. Pushing open the door, he lifted you over the threshold and kicked it shut behind the two of you, leaving you in the dimly lit room, surrounded in silence. The only sound between you was your breathing, and it was painfully noticeable.

Looking up at Jisung, his expression had visibly changed. Being this close to him gave you butterflies, and that familiar feeling of desire began to burn in you. You bit your lip without realising. Jisung slowly backed you up against the wall, his arm around your waist. You had flashbacks to your first encounter with him, and it only made you hotter. Lifting your chin, he traced small and gentle kisses along your jaw. You tightened your grip on his shirt, craving for more. He responded by kissing your neck, sucking and nipping at the skin which caused you to let out a moan. The sound made Jisung visibly tense, and he seemed to lose all sense of control.

Crashing your lips together, he kissed you so passionately you thought you might faint. One hand against the wall to steady himself, the other around your waist, pulling you flush against his body. You hadn’t had a chance to get a good look at what he was wearing yet, but you could feel the thin cotton of what you thought were gym shorts against your bare legs. The contact sent tingles through your legs, and you unconsciously squeezed your thighs together. You needed him to touch you.

Breaking the kiss to gasp for breath, you slid your hands under his shirt. Jisung nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, his breathing heavy and hot on your skin. You traced your fingers over his body, his firm abs and soft skin feeling heavenly to the touch. You reached around his back, surprised at how muscular it felt, and gently scraped your fingernails over him. He hissed softly at the contact, pushing his body into yours.

“Let’s go to the bedroom…” He commanded, his words barely more than a whisper. You shivered with anticipation. Nodding at him, he took your hand and led you to the bed.

The atmosphere was electric. You could cut the tension between you with a knife. Every cell in your body was humming with excitement, you had only dreamed of this moment.

Not bothering to shut the bedroom door, Jisung gently shoved you onto the bed. You fell and scrambled backwards, resting on your elbows to look at him. The look on his face was wicked. His eyes were now totally black with lust, a smirk on his lips that you had never seen. Biting his bottom lip, he grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the floor. Jesus, he was fucking fit. His caramel skin shone under the dim light of the one lamp in the room, the ridges between his abs contracting and tensing with heavy breath he took. His gym shorts hung loose around his hips, exposing his v-line, and you couldn’t help but notice how tight they were across his crotch. It was an unholy sight.

Moving towards you, he crawled slowly up the bed, positioning himself over you. Holding his weight on his arms, he crashed his lips back onto yours, consuming your tongue. Your hands were all over him, reveling in the feeling of his body on yours. You slipped your hands into the hem of shorts, tugging at them.

“Eager baby…” Jisung muttered against your lips, you could feel his wicked smile. Sitting back on his legs, he tapped at your thighs, signalling you to buck your hips upwards. You did so, biting on your finger in anticipation. Slipping his fingers into the hem of your pyjama shorts, he slowly pulled them down over your legs, throwing them to the floor. You didn’t realise he’d taken your panties with them until you felt him staring at your private area, causing a flush across your cheeks. You instinctively clamped your legs shut, covering your face with your hands.

“Don’t stare…” You whined. Jisung giggled, leaning in to peck you on the lips.

“You can’t ask me to do that Y/N. Not when you look this fucking beautiful.”

His words made you melt. His hands sliding over your thighs, he slowly spread your legs, never taking his eyes off yours, looking for the slightest bit of unwanting or fear from you. You nodded in consent, and that was all Jisung needed.

He buried his head between your legs, trailing soft kisses across your inner thighs, getting closer your heat. You moaned and gripped the bed sheets, wanting more from him. Seemingly knowing exactly what you needed, he flicked his tongue across your folds. You arched your back in pleasure, intertwining your fingers in his hair. He worked back and forth with small kitten licks over your clit and pussy, picking up the pace and gripping your hips tightly. Jesus, it felt so _fucking_ good. You’d never thought another man could make you feel like this, let alone Han Jisung. You wanted to explode, already feeling like you were going to orgasm.

Jisung must have sensed this because he stopped his assault and moved back to position himself over you, throwing your legs around his hips. You hadn’t even noticed him taking off his own shorts, so you were caught off guard by the feeling of his hard cock prodding at your entrance. Fire burned through your body. Your breathing erratic and eyes hooded, you gripped at his chest, staring him straight in the eyes. Sweat had formed on his brow, causing his hair to stick to his face. You wanted to savour the memory of him looking like this. Horny Jisung was a fucking blessing to look at.

“Can I…?” He panted through gritted teeth.

As if you were ever going to deny him.

“Please… I need you inside me Jisung…” You half moaned through red and parted lips.

One slight movement of his hips was all it took for Jisung to enter you. He slowly thrust his length into you, and you both moaned loudly in pleasure. The feeling of fullness inside you was heavenly, it felt so fucking right. Pulling out of you again, he buried his head into your neck, picking up his speed to a steady rhythm. You gripped his shoulders and biceps tightly, moaning in his ear as he worked your sensitive spot over and over and over again. You weren’t going to last much longer like this, you could feel the pressure in your heat and your legs start to go numb.

“ _Fuck_ , Y/N… You’re so tight… I’m gonna cum…” Jisung panted. He raised his face from your neck to look at you, his cheeks burning red and sweat dripping down his neck and chest. That was all it took.

“Ah… Jisung-” You cried, letting your orgasm wash over you, digging your nails into his biceps. Your pussy tightened around his length, causing him to cry out and with one final thrust, he came hard inside you, his body shuddering as he cursed under his breath.

Rolling off you, Jisung collapsed on the bed next to you, totally breathless. You hummed in pleasure, too fucked out to say anything. Propping himself up on his elbow, he turned to face you, tracing his fingers over your stomach lovingly, admiring you in your current blissful state.

“You have no idea how much I needed that…” He chuckled. You nodded in response.

“Me too… at least now I have something real to replace my fantasies.”

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face.

“Fantasies? Care to share?” He asked. You laughed quietly.

“Come on… don’t tease. I’m way too tired. You know you drive me crazy…” You blushed at the confession, although you were sure he knew that by now.

“Okay, okay. Come here.” He smiled softly, pulling you into his arms. You buried your head into chest, feeling his warmth surround you. Sweat still lingered on his skin and you could his hear his heartbeat clearly. It was the most comforting sound in the world. Closing your eyes, you let yourself enjoy this moment of post-coital bliss. Jisung lightly traced his fingers up and down your naked back.

“So… today’s our day one then, right?” He murmured in your ear.

Moving in closer to his chest, you hummed in agreement. Exhaustion had caught up with you, and after your most recent activities, all you wanted to do was fall asleep. You felt like today had lasted forever.

“Y/N?” Jisung called, lifting his head up to look at you. 

“Yeah Ji… today’s day one.”

Your words came out as barely a whisper, so you weren’t sure if he’d heard you until he squeezed his arms around you tightly, stroking your hair.

“Sleep, baby girl. We have all the time in the world…”

These were the last soft words you heard, as sleep finally consumed you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	9. Settled

##### Sunlight filled your room, naturally waking you from your sleep.

Blinking your eyes open, you sat up. You felt refreshed after the long day you’d had yesterday, you must have slept like a log.

Grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you checked the time. Shit, was it almost 11:00?! You never normally slept in this late, so you must have needed it.

Memories of last night starting flooding into your thoughts, making you smile unconsciously. If you didn’t know better you would have sworn it was a dream, but the pleasant soreness coming from between your legs was a nice reminder that it had definitely happened. You flopped back into your pillows, turning to face Jisung, who you fully expected to still be next to you.

Except he wasn’t. You were alone in your bed. Sitting upright again, you looked around your room. He was nowhere to be seen.

Jumping out of bed, you grabbed the pyjama shorts and vest top from the floor that you had been wearing the night before, pulling them on and heading to the living room.

You could hear the sound of pots and pans banging, it sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. Confused, you tentatively walked towards the sound.

The smell of bacon flooded your senses, causing your stomach to growl. You realised you hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning, and suddenly hunger washed over you.

Identifying the source of all the noise and the delicious smell, you smiled brightly.

Jisung seemed to have made himself quite at home. He was in your kitchen, humming to himself and swaying from left to right as he cooked bacon in a pan. There were plates set up on the breakfast bar, with mugs of what you assumed to be coffee arranged at either side. He was in his own little world, not even noticing that you’d entered the room.

You cleared your throat to get his attention. It didn’t work. Pouting, you moved over to him and noticed he had earphones in. Slowly creeping up, you reached over his shoulder from behind and yanked one of the earphones out.

“Yah!” He jumped in surprise, almost dropping the spatula in his hand.

“Good morning,” you giggled, flashing him your brightest smile. Jisung pulled out his other earphone, letting them hang from the neck of the black shirt he was wearing. The same shirt he had on last night. More memories flooded back to you and you had to consciously make an effort not to blush.

“What’s up beautiful,” he winked at you, planting a kiss on your forehead. He looked even better this morning, there was a glow to his face that you hadn’t noticed before. His hair looked so soft and fluffy, you fought the urge to touch it.

“What'cha making?”

Jisung turned his attention back to the bacon.

“Breakfast! I figured you’d be starving after… uh… the workout we did last night.” He smirked. You playfully hit his shoulder in response.

“I am starving, it smells great.” You moved to take a seat at the breakfast bar. “But where did you get all this stuff? I didn’t get groceries yesterday, I planned to do all that stuff today.”

“I got it,” he stated. “You were still sleeping when I woke up so I thought I’d just go pick up a few things.”

You were grateful that he’d gone out of his way to do that for you.

“Let me know how much it was, I’ll pay you back.”

Jisung turned with the sizzling pan in his hand, flipping the bacon onto the plates in front of you.

“No need.” He smiled. You rolled your eyes.

“Ji, please. Just tell me how much the stuff was. It’s bad enough that you had to organise this place for me, I don’t need to feel any more in debt to you than I already do.” You whined at him as you picked up your fork, stabbing the bacon on your plate. He gave you a puzzled look.

“Why would you feel in debt to me? I was the one that wanted you here. If anything, I should be more thankful that you even agreed to this whole thing. And especially for agreeing to be my girlfriend.”

You stopped mid-bite, almost choking on the food in your mouth.

“Girlfriend?!”

Jisung grinned widely, scooting over to the seat next to you.

“Don’t you remember last night? After we…?” He nudged you playfully. Your mind was running wild, desperately trying to recall the part where he’d asked you to be his girlfriend. Had he even done that? Why couldn’t you remember? You were pretty sure you would never have forgotten that happening.

You shook your head at him, brows furrowing in confusion.

“We agreed that yesterday was our day one, remember?” He said softer this time, a pout forming on his supple lips. Clearly not satisfied with your reaction, he leaned in next your ear.

 _“So… today’s our day one then, right?”_ He repeated his words from last night, and the fuzzy memory came back to you. You clamped your hand over your mouth, eyes wide.

“There you have it then.” He smiled triumphantly. Shoving food into his mouth, he took three large gulps from the mug of coffee and jumped up from his seat, carrying the plate and mug to the sink. You continued to look at him in disbelief. He moved over to you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead.

“I need to go baby, we got practice today. Gotta keep these joints active.” He winked at you. Making his way to your door, he pulled his shoes on and turned to give you a final wave, shouting over his shoulder that he’d call you later. The door slammed shut behind him, leaving you alone in your apartment.

You were still trying to process what Jisung had said.

Girlfriend. Han Jisung’s GIRLFRIEND. His lover. His exclusive partner. What the _fuck_ was happening?!

You abandoned your food and ran to your room, throwing yourself onto the bed, squealing in excitement with your face stuffed into the pillows. This was unreal.

* * *

##### Weeks had passed since your Day One with Jisung.

Over that time you’d managed to get yourself a job at a small newspaper company, mainly doing their Reception work and acting as an interpreter when needed. Being bilingual meant you’d found a job pretty quickly. The pay wasn’t great, but it was enough to fund your lifestyle.

You spent all your spare time with Jisung, whenever he could get away from the company and his members. He always came to your apartment and you’d spend most of your time there together, and while that didn’t bother you, you did sometimes wish that you could go to other places with him. Go on normal dates, like a regular couple. But that couldn’t happen, at least not yet.

The one time you’d tried to go out together, you’d almost been caught. He had to totally cover his face with a mask and wear a low-rim bucket hat to hide himself, but that still hadn’t been enough to stop him from almost being recognised. A second look from a passerby was all it took for him to panic, and you had to physically run to the nearest safe place before he was swamped on by fans. It was insane, and the stress nearly made Jisung sick. It just wasn’t worth risking it yet, you didn’t want to put him through that again. So every time you started to wish you could go out together, you’d remind yourself that you should be thankful you were even in his life at all. He really tried hard to make you happy by spending all his free time with you, and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	10. Interrupted

##### "Ahh... oh my god Jisung…”

You moaned, gasping for breath through parted lips.

Intertwining your fingers through his hair and gripping it tightly, you pushed his head further into your heat, signalling to him that you wanted more. You wanted him to take you to your high.

Your legs were hooked over the sides of the armchair in your living room, Jisung’s face in between your thighs, licking and nipping at your clit and folds. Slowly and softly at first, then quicker and firmer. Jesus, he knew exactly what he was doing.

You’d been watching a movie with him, just like every other evening you spent together. And just like every other evening, the mood between you had quickly turned from content to pure lust in a matter of minutes.

Before you knew it he had picked you up and thrown you into the armchair, frantically pulling off your panties so he could taste you.

“You’re so sweet baby girl…” He hummed, only stopping the soft flicks of his tongue to slide a finger inside you, causing you to arch your back and grip the sides of the armchair. Fuck, you wouldn’t last much longer like this.

Feeling the fire burning through your body, you involuntarily started trembling, feeling the start of an intense orgasm wash over you. Just a bit more…

_***ring ring*** _

A shrill ringing sound surprised you, yanking you out of your trance. Lifting his head, Jisung turned to the coffee table behind him, noticing the screen of his phone flashing. His phone was ringing.

Flashing you an apologetic look, he stood up and picked up his phone, swiping his hand across his mouth where your juices were lingering. You whined after him, the intense feeling you were approaching quickly fading from your body. Fucking timing, you thought to yourself as you tried to regain some control over your breathing.

“What?” He asked as he answered the call, annoyance clear in his voice. He nodded, listening to the person on the other end.

“Right now?” He asked, glancing in your direction.

“Jesus, fine. But you fucking owe me for this hyung.” He ended the call abruptly. You crossed your legs, pulling the oversized shirt you’d swiped from Jisung down over your modesty.

“Everything okay?” You asked, concerned.

“Yeah… I gotta head back to the dorms though. Chan-hyung needs me for something. He said it was urgent and couldn’t wait.” He explained. He leaned over you, lifting your chin and giving you a soft kiss.

“I’m sorry baby… we’ll pick this up later though, yeah? I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He promised. You nodded in understanding, trying to hide how utterly disappointed you were. As he turned to leave, you grabbed his wrist, pulling him back in for another kiss.

“I miss you already…” You said softly.

“Do not put those back on.” He whispered against your lips, pointing at the panties on the floor. You giggled and nodded.

Flashing you a wink, he turned and headed for the door, sliding on his shoes and disappearing into the corridor. You slumped back into the armchair.

You wondered what could be so urgent that Chan had needed to call him away at this hour, and you hoped everything was okay. Heading to the bathroom, you splashed your face with cold water, trying to regain some of your composure, at least until Jisung got back.

Grabbing your phone, you plopped onto the sofa and started scrolling through your Instagram. Memes and photos of Stray Kids members flooded your feed, and you smiled at every single one, especially the ones of Jisung. Little did anyone know, that he belonged to you. You had seen him in states and situations that no one else ever had, and the thought made you giddy. Squeezing your thighs together unconsciously, you let out a big sigh.

“He better be back soon…”

And as if the Universe had been listening to you, there was suddenly a loud knock on your door.

Jumping up from the sofa with excitement, you ran over to answer it, flinging it open. He really meant it when he said he wouldn’t be away for long!

“Why didn’t you just come straight in, you silly-”

You stopped mid-sentence, staring at the man in front of you as your jaw nearly hit the floor.

Lee Minho.

* * *

##### What the fuck.

Panic came over you. Not knowing what to do or say, you tried to slam the door shut only to be stopped by his hand. He pushed open the door, stepping inside your apartment.

He was wearing black sweats and a dark grey hoodie, a baseball cap low over his eyes and a mask on his face. Even with the things covering his face, you knew it was him. His eyes were all you needed to see. You’d seen enough pictures of him by now to be able to recognise those feline eyes and stunningly long lashes anywhere.

Stumbling backwards, you tried to think of something to say.

He pulled his cap off, shaking his hair loose and unhooked the mask he was wearing from his ears. He was stupidly handsome, his features looking sharper in the dim light of your apartment. His steely dark grey hair fell around his eyes. He looked casually around your apartment, no expression on his face.

“So this is where he’s been sneaking off to…” He muttered, more to himself than to you. He walked further into your apartment, looking around and taking everything in as if you weren’t even there.

Then he turned his attention to you. You couldn’t help but notice the change in atmosphere.

“Care to tell me what the fuck you’re doing here…?” He asked, still no expression on his face.

Reminding yourself how to speak, you carefully replied. Why were you so tense?

“This is my apartment.”

He scoffed at your answer.

“Your apartment? No shit. I meant what are you doing _here_ , in Seoul?”

“I… I moved here. To live…?” You weren’t sure what he wanted to hear, your heart was pounding so fast you could barely hear yourself speaking.

“Why did you move here?” He asked again, stalking closer to you. You took several steps backwards, nearly tripping over your coffee table.

“Jisung. He asked me to… he wanted me here.”

Minho’s eyes flashed with an emotion that you couldn’t quite identify, for just a second. Running his fingers through his hair, he bit his lip and smirked sarcastically. He was so hard to read, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all.

“Stupid little Sungie…” He chuckled. There was that nickname again. “One encounter with a girl and he turns into a horny lovesick idiot…”

“He’s not stupid!” You blurted out without thinking. “And he’s not a horny idiot…”

Minho smirked, stalking towards you. You stepped backwards again, not wanting to be any closer to him than you had to be. Firstly, because he instilled fear in you - not the type of fear where you wanted to scream and run away, but the kind of fear that comes with the unknown. The fear of not knowing what to expect. And secondly, because the atmosphere of your apartment with him in it made you think about things that instantly caused you to feel guilty.

Feeling the edge of your sofa behind you, you fell into it, not being able to move any further away from him without getting up and running. And you didn’t want to do that. Minho slowly approached you.

“Oh?” He almost laughed, raising an eyebrow. “And how would you know that he isn’t just a horny idiot?”

You sat up straight on the sofa, shoulders raised in defence. You didn’t like how he was talking about Jisung.

“Because he isn’t! If sex was all he wanted, he wouldn’t treat me the way he does. He’d just fuck me and leave, but he cares about me, I can feel it.” You stated with indignation, crossing your arms over your chest.

Minho’s eyes flashed with emotion again, but this time it didn’t leave. Was it jealousy? You couldn’t quite tell.

“Fuck you and leave…?” He repeated after you, his voice an octave deeper than before. You suddenly felt intimidated and shrunk into the sofa involuntarily. He leaned over you, placing his hand on the sofa behind you to steady himself. Eyes glaring down at you through luscious lashes.

“You’re just his little fuck toy.” He almost whispered. “You’re a stress reliever. Nothing more.”

Now it was your turn to get angry.

“He wouldn’t have asked me to be his girlfriend if I was just his fuck toy.” You coldly replied, sitting up straight again to look him in the eye.

His expression totally changed. This was anger. Pure and unadulterated.

“ _Girlfriend_ …?” He repeated.

He moved away from you, running both hands through his hair and taking a deep breath. He was pacing around your apartment now, muttering incoherently, you couldn’t make out what he was saying between the few swear words that you could hear. You watched him intently, not sure what he was going to do next. You didn’t dare move.

Suddenly he stopped his pacing, looking down at the floor. Following his gaze, you realised what he had stepped on. The panties that Jisung had torn off you only moments earlier.

His eyes glanced from the panties to you, and back again. A wicked smile crossed his lips. He leaned down and picked them up, letting them dangle from his thumb and forefinger.

“I take it these are yours?” He taunted.

Eyes wide with embarrassment, you flew from the sofa, lunging towards Minho to try and grab the panties from him.

He deftly side stepped out of your reach, causing you to catch yourself with both hands up against the wall behind him. Your back was to him.

Before you could even react, Minho was up against you. You froze in place, eyes wide. His body was cold against your back, you assumed from the chilly night time air outside. How long had he been out there?

He lifted the panties still in his hand, letting them trace across the back of your neck. You shivered in response.

“Did Sungie take these off you, or do you just make a habit of wearing no panties?” He murmured in your ear, his lips just barely touching your skin. You couldn’t form a reply.

He scoffed under his breath.

“Typical slut behaviour…”

Throwing the panties to the floor, he reached his hands down your thighs, pressing his body up against yours. He was warmer now, but the lingering chill on his clothes still made you shiver. You shut your eyes, actively clamping your lips together to stop any kind of noise from coming out. His fingertips were cold, sliding slowly up your legs. The burning desire from your earlier encounter with Jisung was flaring up inside you, you were still so highly strung that you couldn’t help but get excited by the contact.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you, little slut…” He whispered in your ear again. You were. But you weren’t going to show it.

You shook your head as best you could, still saying nothing.

Minho moved his hands to the hem of the oversized shirt you were wearing - Jisung’s shirt - and slowly lifted it over your waist, exposing your bare butt. He wrapped one arm around your waist, keeping the shirt raised, and with the other hand he firmly grabbed your butt, massaging and squeezing the skin. You tried your best to keep quiet, you could not let him know how good this felt.

“Tell me how good this feels…” He purred. You almost slipped out a moan.

Fuck, no. This wasn’t right. Why was he doing this to you? Enough was enough. With as much force as you could muster, you pushed yourself off the wall in an attempt to get free of his grasp. But Minho was stronger than you.

His arm still around your waist, he spun around and backed himself up against the wall, keeping you flush against his body. The hand that was on your butt reached around to your front and went straight for your pussy. Not expecting the sudden contact, you let out a gasp.

Minho’s fingers slid through your folds with ease, you were still so wet from earlier.

“My little slut is already ready for me…” He smirked.

“Stop calling me that you fucking-,” You were cut off before you could finish by Minho’s fingers doing something utterly unholy to you. He worked your clit gently, but firmly enough to drive you crazy, sliding his cold fingers inside you. It felt unreal, and this time you just couldn’t stop a moan passing your lips. Your head rolled back onto Minho’s shoulder, more moans and gasps escaping you.

“That’s right, slut. You know you enjoy this, just let it happen… it doesn’t have to be Sungie touching you to make you feel this good.”

He never stopped his assault on your heat, unwinding his arm from your waist to lift your leg up so his fingers could reach your most sensitive spot. You reached behind you and gripped his hoodie, trying to balance yourself.

That familiar fire started burning in you, your body trembling in response to his touches. You weren’t thinking about anything, you just wanted the high that you were denied earlier. You fucking needed this.

“You gonna cum for me, slut?” Minho teased from behind you.

His words pushed you over the edge, an intense orgasm consuming you as you moaned loudly, your knees giving way from the pleasure, body trembling.

Minho released his grip on you, letting you fall to the floor. He wiped his fingers on his sweats, running his other hand through his hair. Kneeling down in front of you, he lifted your chin to make you look at him. His eyes were hooded, they were darker than before. A look of smug satisfaction on his face, he pulled your chin towards him and forcefully kissed you. There was no feeling in the kiss, no emotion. Tears started to form in your eyes.

Pulling away with a smirk, something caught his eye. He turned your chin to force you to look at what he’d noticed.

And you were greeted by the sight of Jisung standing there, face flushed and eyes teary, his mouth agape. He had seen everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	11. Triangle

##### He had seen everything.

The look on his face made your heart break. You willed yourself to say something, anything.

“Jisung… I…” You were cut off by Minho. He stood up from his position in front of you, moving over to Jisung who was still frozen in place, tears filling his eyes. You imagined what you must look like to him right now - in your disheveled state, panting for breath after an intense orgasm given to you by another man. Minho walked towards Jisung. Grabbing his hand, he dragged him out of your apartment. Neither of them looked back at you.

You got up and ran to the door just in time for it to slam shut in front of you. Tears started rolling down your cheeks. How had this happened? A few hours ago you were so happy and content. Now everything had gone to shit.

You could hear the muffled sounds of Minho talking. You couldn’t make out what he was saying until the shouting started.

“How could you fucking do this to me!?” Jisung cried. You wanted to open the door, wanted to run to him and comfort him, but you imagined yourself being the last person he wanted to see right now. There was more muffled talking, followed by shouting.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Han? This whole thing is insane!” It was Minho this time.

“We made things clear before we even went on tour, hyung!” Jisung shouted back. “I tried, I really fucking tried…” He sobbed. Wiping away your tears, you listened intently, knowing that you probably shouldn’t be. But you had to know what they were talking about.

There was more talking that you couldn’t make out, the deeper tone made you think it was Minho. Then Jisung shouted.

“It’s too fucking late!! I love her, hyung!”

Your heart stopped. He loved you? Jisung loved you? He hadn’t told you that yet. Your heart broke even more. Why did you have to hear it this way?

Everything had gone quiet beyond the door. Steeling yourself, you risked a look through the peep hole in your door that looked out to the corridor.

They were gone. The corridor was empty.

Seemingly losing all strength in your legs, you collapsed to your knees. Tears began to flow again and you held your head in your hands. You were so confused, both by what had just happened with Minho and by their conversation. Something definitely wasn’t right.

_What am I doing?!_

Pulling yourself up from the floor, you slipped on your shoes and flew out the door, running down the corridor after them.

You couldn’t let things end like this. You had to explain to Jisung, tell him what had happened and apologise over and over and over again. You needed to tell him that you loved him too.

The cold night air whipped around you as you ran. You desperately hammered the elevator button, cursing under your breath that it was taking too long. Deciding to take the stairs instead, you ran down them as quickly as you could, bursting out the door to the lobby and sprinting for the exit.

Finally reaching the exit, you stopped, trying to catch your breath. Goosebumps were forming on your skin due to the chill outside. You looked around for any sign of Jisung or Minho, only to see two figures disappear around a corner, one dragging the other by the hand.

About to break into a run after them, you quickly stopped in your tracks. You couldn’t go much further in your current state - you were still half naked.

“JISUNG!!” You shouted after them, cupping your hands around your mouth for more volume.

No response.

“JI, PLEASE! I’M SO SORRY!” You shouted again.

Still no response. This was pointless.

Even if he had heard you, did you think he’d accept your apology? You weren’t sure how much he’d seen of what was happening between you and Minho, or how long he had been standing there, but it didn’t really matter. He’d seen enough, and the look on his face back then told you that. No explanation you could give would heal the pain you’d just caused him.

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you headed back into your building. You let the tears come to you, sobbing all the way back to your apartment.

* * *

##### You sat at at your desk, desperately trying to find the motivation to get some work done.

You needed something to get your mind off what happened last night, even if it was just mundane office work.

Your head was throbbing and your eyes felt so heavy. You’d attempted to make yourself presentable this morning, but no amount of makeup could hide the bags under your eyes. You’d had no sleep - how could you have? You also hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon, so you had no energy to do anything. All you wanted to do was go back home and sleep until this all seemed like a bad dream.

“Y/N, you okay?” A soft voice asked. Looking up from your computer, you saw Hannah leaning over your desk.

“You look like shit,” She laughed. You rolled your eyes at her. Hannah was the only person at work you could have a decent conversation with. She was a year older than you, and you felt like you could almost be friends with her.

“I’m fine…” You sighed. “Just got zero sleep last night.”

She squinted her eyes at you.

“Hm… boyfriend keeping you up all night?” She teased. If there was one person you did not want to think about right now, it was your boyfriend.

“Kinda…” You replied, not having the energy to create some stupid lie. “It’s complicated.”

“Ooh, I love complicated!” She plopped down in her chair and scooted over next to you. She had a cup of coffee in one hand which she placed firmly in front of you.

“Here. Drink. Caffeine does wonders for the soul Y/N.”

You smiled weakly in gratitude, holding the cup in both hands and taking a small sip. It was the first thing you’d had to drink today.

“Wanna talk about it?” She asked, propping one arm up on her chair.

“Not really.” You shook your head. Not that you even could if you wanted to. You’d never be able to tell her the whole truth.

“Okay, no pressure then!” She held her hands up in defence. “But you should really go get some fresh air. Take a break, call someone you _can_ talk to. Do something to make yourself feel better.”

She was right. You needed to clear your head. Fresh air might just help you do that.

“Thanks Hannah.” You nodded as she flashed you a thumbs up. You stood up from your chair and headed to the roof, taking your coffee with you.

* * *

##### The combination of outside air and caffeine definitely helped.

Your eyes felt less heavy, but your headache was still there. Leaning over the railing of the roof, you took your last sip of the now lukewarm coffee. You shut your eyes, letting the air wash over you, filling your senses and your head with thoughts of nothing. It was nice.

**_*ring ring*_ **

Just like that, your moment of clarity was over. Setting down the coffee cup, you pulled your phone from your pocket. An unknown number flashed on the screen. Furrowing your brow, you answered the call.

“Hello?”

 _“Oh, hi! Is this Y/N’s phone?”_ A deep voice asked from the other end.

“… Yes.”

_“Thank god. Wasn’t sure if I wrote the number down right.”_

“Who is this?”

_“Oh, of course. You wouldn’t have this number saved. Uh… it’s Lee Felix. From Stray Kids?”_

You almost choked. Firstly, why would he be calling you? Secondly, how did he have your number? And third, why would he think you wouldn’t know who he was!?

“Hi Felix.” You replied, not sure what else to say.

_“Hi! Listen, can we meet somewhere? I’d like to talk to you, in person, if that’s okay. I’m not one hundred percent sure what happened last night, but… there’s some stuff you should know. About us. About Han-ie and Lee Know-hyung.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	12. Revelation

##### You were sat in a small café, waiting for Felix to show up.

It was cosy and quaint, with only a few tables and chairs inside. It had a musty smell to it, it reminded you of old wood polish. Made sense, seeing as the walls and floor were all made from a dark oak wood.

He’d texted you the address of a place he knew where you could talk without eyes on you. Or more specifically, on him.

You’d ordered a latte and were just about to take a sip when the door opened, causing a small bell to ring. A man walked inside, dressed in a black and white fur coat and black skinny jeans. He wore a baseball cap and mask over his face, but the tufts of pink hair protruding from the side of his cap instantly told you who it was.

Felix looked around quickly before spotting you, giving a small wave and heading for your table. He sat opposite you, pulling off the cap and mask and running his hand through his hair to tussle it. His hair was nowhere near as bright red as when you’d last seen him, which had been at the London concert. The colour had faded to a pastel pink making his features look softer. He was bare-faced, so his freckles stood out clearly. Cute.

“Hi!” He smiled brightly at you. Without even knowing why, you felt like you were about to blush.

“Hey.” You smiled back, taking a sip of your latte and hoping the cup would cover your reddening cheeks.

He shrugged off his coat, draping it over the back of his chair. The waiter came over to take his order and quickly brought him a glass of water, which he chugged down almost instantly, his adams apple rising and falling in his throat as he drank, mesmerising you. Pulling your eyes away, you cleared your throat.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” You asked, setting down your cup.

“Right.” He crossed his arms on the table, leaning towards you. “There’s some stuff you should know… but first, can you tell me what happened last night?”

You instantly tensed, and he noticed the change in you.

“Look…” He said softly. “You’re not gona get any judgement from me, Y/N, I promise. I just need to know so I can try and make things easier to explain to you.”

You relaxed a little at his words. You knew he wouldn’t judge you, but going over the events of last night again wasn’t something you really wanted to do.

Reluctantly, you started to explain what had happened to Felix.

“I don’t even really know myself. Jisung and I were at my apartment, we’d been… spending some time together…” You cleared your throat again awkwardly. “He got a call from Chan and said he needed to leave, that it was urgent and he’d be right back…”

Felix was listening intently.

“He left. And then… Minho turned up. I don’t know how he knew Jisung was with me or how he knew where I lived. Ji said he hadn’t told anyone about what we were doing, or that I was his girlfriend…” You went on.

Felix raised an eyebrow at this, but nodded at you to continue.

“He thought people knowing about us would just complicate things. Especially with the dating ban you guys are under, it would just.. be too much. And I get it, you know.”

Felix smiled sadly.

“Anyway… Minho turned up and things just escalated from there. He asked me what I was doing in Seoul and why I was here.”

“Did you tell him?” Felix asked. You nodded in reply.

“Did you tell him you were Han-ie’s girlfriend?” He asked again, a tone of concern in his voice.

“Y- yes… but…” You stammered. “Only because he pushed me into it! He was saying horrible things about me, about Jisung. And I just… I wanted to prove to him that I am more to Jisung than just a ‘stress reliever’…” You said the last part in finger quotations.

“Or… I was anyway…” You trailed off. Felix cocked his head at you.

“What happened then?” He asked, almost as if he knew what you were going to say next. You shook your head, feeling your cheeks flush as you recalled the memory of what Minho did to you.

Felix sighed.

“He snapped right?”

You nodded again.

“I’m not sure what came over him. Or me… I can’t say I wasn’t totally to blame either. If I really wanted to I could have stopped it happening, and I did try… but… I just got caught up in the moment, I guess. I know it’s no excuse.”

Felix scoffed, playing with the rings on his fingers.

“Y/N, you are not the first person to submit to Minho-hyung’s charms. And you won’t be the last. That man is sex incarnate. Try not to blame yourself too much.”

His words did little to reassure you. You still felt fucking terrible, and guilty as hell.

“So what happened next? Something with Han-ie?”

You nodded slowly, recalling the look on Jisung’s face from last night. Your heart started to break again.

“He saw everything. I don’t know when he’d come back, I honestly hadn’t even heard him come in. But when we were… done,” you stuttered, “… he was just standing there. Staring at us.” You felt the tears welling up and quickly wiped your eyes.

Felix handed you a napkin, humming in understanding.

“Well at least this makes more sense now.”

“What do you mean?” You asked between sniffles.

“When they got back to the dorm last night, they were screaming at each other. We’ve never seen anything like it. It almost got to the point of a physical fight between them. Changbin-hyung and I had to separate them for a while until they’d both cooled off.” Felix explained softly.

“We figured something had happened but neither of them wanted to tell us about it.” He sighed.

You couldn’t believe this. It couldn’t just be because of you, there was more to this fight. There was more to their relationship, you could feel it.

“Felix?” You asked.

“Oh please…” He chuckled. “Just call me Lix.”

“Lix… what is going on with them? I heard them outside my apartment after what happened… They were arguing and shouting, something about how they’d made things clear before going on tour? About how they’d tried and it was too late?”

Felix sat back in his seat, shifting slightly.

“That was what I wanted to explain to you today. But… I’m not sure you’ll like hearing it." 

You weren’t sure you wanted to know either, but you had to understand. You were running circles around all the possibilities in your head. You needed to know, even if it would hurt.

"Please, Lix. I have to know.” You pleaded.

He nodded in response, leaning back towards you again.

“You’re a fan, right? So… you must know about the shipping that goes on among the fandom. We know it happens, and it’s fine. Most of the time it’s harmless fun and nothing more, we even play on it for fan service.” He explained in a hushed tone.

“But… not all of it is just fan service. Han-ie and Minho-hyung started out as just friends, like all of us. But after the survival show aired and we made our debut, things started to change. Fans started shipping them because of the whole hand-holding thing during the Hellevator performance from the show. From then on, everything they did was scrutinised and fans just wanted them to be together. It got hard to ignore. Really hard.” He went on. You nodded, listening to his every word.

“We don’t really know when their feelings started to change, but it got harder for them to hide it. Maybe it was because of the fans encouraging them that they began to really notice each other. Maybe they just spent so much time together that it happened naturally and would have happened even without the fans support…”

You were holding your breath, wanting him to continue. The fan inside you was screaming with excitement at this revelation. The woman inside you was screaming with heartbreak. Felix took your hand in his from across the table, as if he’d noticed your turmoil.

“All of us knew that their feelings went past just platonic friendship. We couldn’t ignore it. They’d spend every night together, go out together, stay in together. Honestly… it was kinda nice to watch. Obviously they had all our support. Neither of them had ever looked happier. Until the company found out.”

Your eyes went wide, you could feel your hands getting clammy.

“They were pulled in for meetings at the company with the execs, each by themselves and then together. We still don’t know what was said, or how the company even found out. But things changed after that… They started spending less time together, barely talking at all, at least when we were all together. They went out of their way to avoid each other. Han-ie would cry himself to sleep every other night while Minho-hyung started staying out later and later at night, not coming home at all on some occasions. We could only assume that the company had told them to stop what they were doing. I dread to think of the consequences they threatened them with…”

You felt a tear trickle down your cheek. You didn’t even know why you were crying. Was it sympathy for the two of them? Was it anger or jealousy? You couldn’t tell. All you knew for certain was that your heart was hurting right now.

Felix gently squeezed your hand in reassurance.

“They’ve never really patched up their relationship to the point where they could be friends again. And honestly, if it was me in their position, I don’t think I’d be able to either. Just the thought of not being able to be with Changbin-hyung terrifies me, so I can’t imagine how they must have felt. I could never go back to being just friends with him…” He was saying almost to himself.

Your eyes went wide in surprise.

“So… you and Changbin are really a thing?” You asked quietly.

Felix smiled and nodded, his cheeks turning a very subtle shade of pink.

“We are. It happened almost the same way as Han-ie and Minho-hyung - people started shipping us after the kiss on the survival show. It’s funny how you don’t realise your true feelings until someone, or hundreds of people in our case, points them out for you…” He laughed. “I was just lucky that Changbin-hyung felt the same way about me.”

You shook your head in disbelief. Having all these bombs dropped on you at once was a lot to process. But the smile on Felix’s face when he was talking about Changbin was one of pure adoration, and it warmed your heart. You wondered if Jisung had ever smiled like that thinking about Minho.

“So, basically I’ve walked right into the middle of a lovers quarrel?” You asked Felix. He shook his head.

“I don’t think it’s that, Y/N. My honest opinion is that Han-ie really does like you. He hasn’t told us about you officially, but we’ve all noticed how absent he’s been from the dorms. He doesn’t spend his free time with us anymore, always saying he has somewhere to be. We figured he’d started dating someone just because of the change in him - he’s been so fucking happy lately it’s almost getting annoying.” He chuckled.

You were glad he was happy, and glad that you seemed to be the reason for his happiness.

“But…” You furrowed your brow. “If he hadn’t told you about me, how did you know to call me? How did you even know I was here?”

Felix sat upright, shifting in his seat.

“Ah…” He cleared his throat. “I checked his phone. Total invasion of privacy, I know!” He raised his arms in defence.

“But their argument at the dorm last night kept mentioning another person. A 'she’. They never said your name, but I figured you had to have been close enough to one of them for them to be arguing about you like that. I was going to search both their phones, Han-ie’s just happened to be the first one I checked. Your number was favourited in his contacts… He’s also got your name saved with a heart. Wasn’t too hard to figure out.” He laughed.

You rolled your eyes. So much for being discrete.

“So… what do I do now?”

Felix pulled his coat from the back of the chair and started to put it on.

“If you want my advice, talk to Han-ie about it. And steer clear of Minho-hyung, at least for now. He’s unpredictable on a good day, so I shudder to think about what he’s capable of when it comes to someone he cares about.”

He stood up from his seat, beginning to walk away.

“Clear things up with Han-ie first. It’ll make you feel better. And save my number. Call me if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk - I’m always around.” He tussled your hair affectionately, smiling warmly at you. You had the sudden urge to throw yourself into his arms and hug him tightly. How could he be so kind to someone he barely knew?

With that, Felix left the cafe, leaving you sitting at the table alone.

Tears came to you again. This whole thing was so messy. You didn’t want to hurt anyone, you hated the idea of being the reason for an argument or an object of jealousy to someone. It felt wrong to you. You had been dragged right into the middle of an already painful relationship between two people.

But Felix was right. You needed to clear the air with Jisung. He was your priority.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	13. Involvement

##### Felix’s words from yesterday were still ringing in your ears.

You’d processed the bombs he’d dropped on you a hundred different ways in your head, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t see how this situation could be resolved happily.

Either you plucked up the courage to confront Jisung and Minho, forcing them to admit that they were in love and wanted to be together, which meant you would be left alone, or, you somehow convinced Jisung to stay with you, which would leave Minho alone.

Neither of these options sat right with you. You didn’t want anyone to end up being hurt, even if it was already too late for that.

All you knew right now, was that you needed to call Jisung. You had to talk to him.

Taking a seat at the breakfast bar, you pulled out your phone, staring at his contact with your finger hovering over the call button.

Nerves washed over you, making you hesitate. Butterflies were forming in your stomach. You had no idea what he’d say to you, or if he’d even answer your call. He was probably still angry and upset.

_Fuck it._

Tapping the call icon, you nervously waited out the rings.

 _“Yeah_?” There was that familiar honey voice you hadn’t heard for two days.

“Ji? It’s me.”You said nervously.

 _“Yeah, I know. Caller ID.”_ He replied coldly.

You couldn’t blame him for being abrupt with you. You deserved this.

“Right…” You smiled awkwardly. “Um, can we meet? I think we should talk…”

There was a pause.

_“Sure. We should do that. I’m at the company right now, so you’ll need to come to me. Go around back and tell them you’re here for the music core thing. They’ll let you in.”_

And before you could even respond, the call was ended.

You scratched your head in frustration. Was he crazy? He wanted you to go to the company? The JYP building? You almost felt like he was testing you. Trying to get you to prove that he meant something to you. To prove that you’d do something reckless to show him how much you cared.

Or maybe he was just trying to get you into trouble after what you’d done. Who knows.

Either way, you needed to regain his trust. And if this is what it was going to take, then you’d willingly do it.

Sighing heavily, you shrugged your coat on and pulled on your Vans, leaving your apartment and heading for the JYP building.

* * *

##### You’d arrived at JYPE. Standing outside, you craned your neck backwards to look up at the huge building.

It looked even bigger in person. It had taken you a while to get here, and in that time the sun had started to set. The huge blue JYP letters on the front looked almost intimidating in the light of the sunset.

Jisung had told you to go around the back.

Pulling your coat closer around you, you made your way down the side street to the rear entrance.

A man in a black suit stood to the side of the entrance, on high alert. As you approached, he held out a hand to stop you entering.

“Reason for your visit?” He stated. You shifted under his cold stare.

“Business. I’m here for the music core event.” You replied as professionally as you could.

“Music core? Which team?” He stated again.

Shit. You racked your brains trying to think of something.

“Um, stylists.” You answered, still trying to seem professional. He looked you up and down, noticing the lack of bags or things you were carrying.

“My equipment is already here.” You tried to answer before he could ask. His brow furrowed.

“ID then, please.” He held out his hand.

Shit, shit, shit. You didn’t have any fucking ID on you at all, let alone a stylists ID card.

“Y/N!” Called a familiar voice.

Felix strolled towards you from the other end of the street with a spring in his step. You let out a sigh of relief as the suited man turned his attention to him, recognising Felix instantly.

“What took you so long, Noona? Come on in, I’m sure they’re waiting for you. What concept are we going with today?” He beamed brightly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Not sparing a second, he ushered you inside and down a flight of stairs before the suited man could protest.

You reached the bottom of the stairs, out of the man’s line of sight. You could have kissed Felix.

“You are a lifesaver…” You whined at him.

“No shit.” Felix chuckled.

“That was some pretty quick thinking. What concept are we going with?” You laughed, repeating his words.

“Eh, all it takes is a bit of showbiz talk to confuse these lugheads they hire as security.” Felix nudged you playfully. “Which now that I think about it, probably isn’t a good thing…” He mused. You scoffed at him.

“So, why are you here?” He asked.

The nerves returned to you.

“I’m here to see Jisung.”

Felix looked at you in surprise.

“Woah, that’s ballsy isn’t it? You came straight to the company just to see him?”

You nodded in agreement.

“I know. But I took your advice and called him. He told me I needed to come here and see him if I wanted to talk things out.” You explained.

Felix rolled his eyes.

“What a fucking sadist…” He muttered.

“Do you know where he’d be?” You asked, hoping he would help you and not push you back out the door for your own protection.

“He should be on the second basement floor. Lessons finished a while ago so he’s probably practicing, and that’s where he likes to go.” Felix replied.

“Want me to take you?” He smiled warmly, holding out his hand for you.

You gladly took his hand and let him lead you through the winding hallways and stairs, down to the second basement floor. Holding his hand gave you courage. Even just having him around made you feel better. Seriously, thank god for Felix.

You eventually came to a red door at the end of a dark hallway. Felix stopped in front and gestured with his head that this was the place. You could hear the very faint sound of EDM music coming from behind the door.

“I gotta love you and leave you, little one. Got my own stuff to get done.” Felix squeezed your hand to reassure you. You smiled back up at him.

“Thank you, Lix.”

“Break a leg…” He winked at you despite the worried look on his face, planting an affectionate kiss on your head before turning on his heel and walking back the way you came.

Standing in front of the door, you took a long and deep breath. The pace of the EDM music was picking up, not doing much to steel your nerves. Slowly, and with a racing heartbeat, you pushed open the door.

* * *

##### The EDM music flooded your ears the second you opened the door, it was so much louder inside the room.

It was a dance practice room, like the ones you’d seen from the videos. A huge mirror made up one side of the wall, and black leather sofas were placed along the other side, leaving a large wooden floor space for the dance practices.

The room was lit only by small spotlights that ran along the corners of the ceiling and a lamp on the sound desk. The massive fluorescent star lights along the ceiling were turned off. You could barely see a thing.

But you could see enough to know who was dancing in here.

Jisung was practicing. He was dancing so intensely that you thought his body might break. He was wearing black sweats and a sleeveless white tank top, the ones with the extra wide sleeves that reveal the wearers ribs and more if they move too much.

Sweat was dripping down the back of neck, his damp blonde hair clinging to his skin. His black sweats were just tight enough to show off his thighs, which looked thicker than you remembered.

You stood in awe and watched. His moves were razor sharp and precise, his body rolls sensual and controlled. Every time he rolled his hips, your body tingled, begging to be reminded of how good it felt to be on the receiving end of those thrusts. Every time he lifted his muscular arms too high or too fast, you caught a glimpse of his toned upper body through the loose sleeves of his top, his tan skin looking even darker against the white of his shirt and the dim light of the room.

He looked so fucking sexy.

Suddenly, he stopped dancing. He sat on the floor, panting for breath and looking into the mirror in front him. Straight at you.

You locked eyes in the mirror, and you immediately blushed. You felt like you’d been caught watching someone fuck, even though he was only dancing. You wondered if he’d noticed how long you’d been there.

Pulling himself up from the floor, he swiped his arm across his forehead to remove the beads of sweat. He moved over to the sound table, clicking off the music. The sudden silence was deafening.

“You coming in or what?” He asked without looking at you.

Clearing your throat awkwardly, you walked into the room, closing the door behind you.

“Sit.” He pointed at the black leather sofas. You complied, placing your hands in your lap and nervously playing with your fingers. Jisung grabbed a bottle of water from the table, then moved to sit at the other end of the same sofa. You hated how far away he felt from you.

“Say what you came to say.” He said abruptly, his attention on the water bottle in his hands.

“I wanted to explain. And apologise…” You began.

“I don’t know exactly what you saw, or how much you saw… that night.” Your palms were sweating. You couldn’t look at him while you were talking, you already felt sick just having to do this.

“But I know you saw enough. I wanted to tell you that it isn’t what you think. It didn’t mean anything…”

“How did it even happen?” He interrupted you. “Because it sure as fuck looked like you were enjoying it to me.”

“I don’t know how it happened Ji! It just did… He turned up at my place all of a sudden and lost control when I told him I was your girlfriend, I tried to stop it but…” You felt tears forming in your eyes, but you didn’t want to cry. You couldn’t guilt trip him right now.

“So him losing control meant you had to let him touch you like that?! You didn’t try very fucking hard, did you?” He replied through gritted teeth, his tone low.

You scooted closer to him on the sofa, trying to find an explanation that would make sense to him. He tightened his grip on the water bottle, his arms tense.

“I did try, Jisung! He was stronger than me, and I know it’s not an excuse, but what could I have done?!” You whined.

“You could have fucking stopped it if you really wanted to!” He shouted this time. Standing up from the sofa, he paced around the room, running his hands through his damp hair. He turned to look at you, anger in his expression.

“Just be honest with me Y/N! You wanted him to touch you! We both fucking know it! You were probably desperate for it!” He threw his water bottle against the mirrored wall with as much force as he could muster. The cap flew off as it hit the wall, spilling water all over the mirror and floor. You flinched at the sound of the impact.

“That’s not true!” You stood up, trying to move closer to him and ignore the sting of what he’d just said.

“It is! Who knows how much further you would have gone with him if I hadn’t walked in?” He cried. His words hurt.

“You know what?!” You shouted at him. “You’re clearly not listening to a word I’m saying Ji! I’m trying to tell you that he just overpowered me. I’m so fucking sorry that it happened, I really am. You’re the last person I would ever want to hurt!”

He scoffed at your words.

“Do you have any fucking idea what it’s like…” he said coldly, “… to walk in on the person you lov-… the person you care about, doing something like that?”

He still wasn’t listening, and you could feel your patience wearing thin. You hadn’t expected this to be easy but it was like he wasn’t even hearing you at all. You started to get angry.

“No, I don’t Ji. I’m sorry. I couldn’t be more fucking sorry.”

Jisung walked away from you, pacing the room again.

“But… which of us are you talking about?”

He stopped in his tracks and whipped his head around to look at you, a mix of anger and confusion on his face.

“Because you haven’t been totally honest with me, have you?” You continued. “So… which person were you most upset with?”

His eyes widened, his breath hitching.

“Me? Or Minho?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	14. Crash

##### “Me? Or Minho?”

Jisung’s eyes flashed with anger.

Stalking straight towards you, your heart shot up into your throat. You regretted what you’d said, you shouldn’t have taunted him like that, but you couldn’t back down now.

He forcefully grabbed your wrist, pulling you close to him.

“Seriously?” He asked through gritted teeth. He shook your arm, his grip on your wrist tightening.

“You’re seriously going to ask me that? You going to use it against me?” He spat again. You squared up to him, trying your best not to feel intimidated.

“Why can’t you answer the question?” You asked, softly, but with a sarcastic tone to your voice. Jisung rolled his eyes back, running his free hand through his hair and biting his lip harshly. His grip on your wrist was starting to hurt.

“There are things about me that you don’t know…” He replied with a shaky voice. It sounded like he was trying to stop himself from saying something he’d regret. “You… have no idea what I’m fucking capable of.”

With those words, he pulled your arm again, slamming your back against the mirrored wall. The water from the bottle he’d thrown at the mirror earlier was still there, and it was cold on your back, making you flinch at the contact. The situation was quickly turning into something entirely different. You’d never seen him like this. In the deepest depths of your body, it excited you. You wanted to see more.

“Why don’t you show me…?” You taunted him. A wicked smirk crossed his lips as sadistic excitement ran through you.

“You like to be dominated?” He pushed his body against yours on the mirror, his voice husky in your ear.

“Is that why you let Lee Know-hyung touch you? Because he’s a dom?” His hand moved to grasp your throat, putting slight pressure on it. You wished he wouldn’t talk about Minho, both because you didn’t want Jisung’s thoughts to be filled with him and because it still made you feel guilty. You almost wanted to cry.

“Fuck you.” Was all you could say as you gasped for breath through his strong hand around your neck. You gripped his shirt tight, pulling him closer to you.

Jisung released his grip from your throat and grabbed the scruff of your top. Letting your head fall back against the mirror, you reached up to grab his hair and forced his lips to yours. It was messy, frantic and desperate. Jisung broke the kiss, his breathing heavy and lips parted.

In one swift motion, he pulled you away from the mirror by your top and flung you to the floor. You landed on your butt in the puddle of water he’d created earlier, the cold sensation almost shocking you out of your lust. Your damp clothes clung to your body. Jisung loomed over you with eyes now completely glazed over.

Not saying a word, he positioned himself on top of you. Crashing his lips against yours, he frantically kissed you, his hands roaming over your thighs and travelling up your skirt. You let out a moan of pleasure.

“Oh, no baby.” He cooed at you. “You don’t get to enjoy this.” His words sent shivers down your body. Dominant Jisung was unreal.

Using both hands to grab your waist, he flipped you over onto your hands and knees. The water on the floor was making it difficult for you to keep from slipping.

He frantically pulled down your panties to your knees, lifting your skirt over your back so you were totally exposed to him. You watched him in the mirrored wall. He yanked off his own tank top, tossing it to the floor and slid his sweat pants down just enough to free his cock. His toned abs and muscles were shining with sweat, the sight drove you crazy.

You watched as he stroked himself a few times to get himself fully hard. You wanted to touch him, wanted to feel his body closer to you, but you couldn’t. This was his revenge.

He firmly gripped your hips with both hands and yanked you backwards. At the same time, he thrust forwards, sliding his cock into you. You cried out in pleasure, never taking your eyes off the mirror. He grit his teeth, hissing at the warmth of your pussy around his length. Without giving you a chance to adjust to the feeling of him inside you, he started fucking you, hard and fast. His muscles contracting and tensing with every thrust, beads of sweat from his face dripping from him and landing on your bare butt. He was desperately chasing his high, smashing into you with everything he had.

Just as you were feeling the pressure building up inside you, he harshly slapped your behind, never stopping his thrusts. Again and again, he smacked you, the stinging sensation taking over from the pleasure that you were feeling before. Once again he brought his hand down on the same spot, and this time you cried out, tears filling your eyes.

“Ji… stop!” You tried to meet his eyes in the mirror, but he was too consumed in his own world. His eyes were glazed over and he was biting his lip so hard you could have sworn it was about to break the skin. Was he even here right now?

“Jisung!” You called him again, trying to bring him back. It was so hard to form words in between his relentless pounding.

“I’m here baby…” He panted. “ _Fuck_ … I’m gonna cum…”

Pleasure and relief instantly flooded over you as you heard his words. You felt his cock stiffen inside you, followed by his release. He cried out in pleasure, his body shuddering hard and his grip on your waist tightening as he came. You let him ride out his orgasm without saying a word.

* * *

##### Sat back on the leather sofa, you watched as Jisung cleaned up the mess on the floor of the dance practice room.

A combination of water, sweat, and his cum.

You still hadn’t said a word since the sex. You weren’t even sure of what to say. He’d told you that you had no idea of what he could be capable of, and you were beginning to think he was right. He’d shown you a totally different side to himself. This dominant side, purely driven by the need to fuck. It was a drastic change from the gentle, loving man you’d known before. And worse, he still hadn’t answered your question from before.

Throwing the waste papers he’d used in the trash bin, Jisung came over to you.

“You okay?” He asked softly as he sat at the other end of the sofa, not being able to meet your gaze.

You hummed in response, nodding your head at him.

“I’m sorry if I took that too far.” He whispered.

“You didn’t…” You replied, and you were telling the truth. It wasn’t that he had taken things too far. It was just that you weren’t used to this darker side of him.

“I meant it when I said there are things about me you don’t know…” He spoke quietly. You let him talk.

“I…” He sighed. “Things are… complicated. Between Lee Know-hyung and I. I don’t know how much you know. But we were… involved.”

“I know that you’re more than just friends.” You replied.

Jisung’s shoulders tensed.

“Yeah… we _were_ more than just friends.” He muttered.

“… and what about now?” You asked, half not wanting to know.

“Like I said… its complicated.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I know it’s none of my business.” You reassured him. You didn’t want to push him into talking about it if he wasn’t ready.

Jisung sighed again.

“But it is your business. You’re involved now. Lee Know-hyung knows about you, and that makes you a target.”

 _A target?_ What?

“We never really ended things between us officially. But then we never really started anything officially, either. It was all so vague. All we knew was that we liked each other…” He started to explain.

“So…” You stammered on your words, choosing them carefully. “You’re… bisexual then?”

You hoped you hadn’t offended him. He half chuckled to himself, shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m not sure myself. I’ve never been attracted to just men or women exclusively. It’s just the person. And I guess the gender doesn’t matter?”

Your heart ached. You imagined how confused he must be right now, and you wanted to hold him, reassure him that it was okay.

“Lee Know-hyung is the same. After we stopped things, he’d spend nights out of the dorms. I’d heard about the things he’d been up to, the women and men he’d fucked. Guess it doesn’t matter to him either.” His voice broke slightly.

You scooted closer to him. Sat beside him, you took his hand in yours, resting it in your lap. You just wanted to comfort him.

“I still don’t know how he found out about you, Y/N. All I can think of is that he followed me from the dorms to your place to see where I was going. I know I should have been more careful. But I…” His hands were shaking.

“I didn’t think he cared about what I was doing… who I was seeing. He hasn’t shown any interest in what I do since we broke it off.”

You gently stroked his hand.

“Maybe he cares about you more than he lets on…” You said softly. “Maybe it’s jealousy, or possessiveness. It would explain why he snapped after hearing I was your girlfriend, don’t you think? Why else would he go to all this trouble?”

Jisung shrugged again.

“Who the fuck knows.” He replied.

You racked your brains thinking of some way to make him feel better.

“Maybe you should talk to him, Ji. Ask him about it properly. Give him an opportunity to explain and you might be able to clear this whole thing up. Then we can move on, pick things up where we left off…” You smiled softly.

Jisung looked at you, placing his hand over yours. Tears filled his eyes, and his expression sent waves of panic over you. He looked like he was in pain, like he was about to say something you really didn’t want to hear.

“Y/N…” He smiled weakly at you, squeezing your hand. Your heart stopped.

“Let’s break up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	15. Falling

##### “Let’s break up.”

A pit formed in your stomach. Tears fell down Jisung’s cheeks, the look he was giving you made you feel sick. He was serious.

“W- what…?” You stammered.

Removing his hands from yours, he placed them at either side of his head.

“This whole thing is so fucked up. I need time, Y/N. I can’t give you what you need right now. I’m only putting you in a terrible situation…”

Your heart was pounding with panic. He couldn’t do this to you, not after everything you’d done to be here with him. Not after everything you’d done together. You felt yourself getting overwhelmed with emotion. There were so many things you wanted to say.

“B- but… I thought you loved me.” You whispered. It was the only thing you could get out.

Jisung looked at you with tear stained cheeks, shutting his eyes tight with a look of despair and regret crossing his face.

“It doesn’t matter if I do.” He shook his head. “We can’t be together right now.”

“I don’t understand, Ji. We can work through this together… please…” You sobbed, reaching for his hands.

He pulled away from you, standing up quickly.

“We can’t Y/N. I’m sorry.” He headed for the door.

No. He couldn’t leave you like this.

“Jisung! You can’t leave me alone! What am I going to do?!” You cried as the reality of what was happening started to sink in.

“This is for the best…” He said over his shoulder as he left the room. 

And the door slammed shut behind him, leaving you alone.

* * *

##### The walls were closing in around you, his words resounding through your head.

You felt bile rise in your throat, tears stinging your eyes and flowing freely down your cheeks. You were hurting. Hurting so fucking badly. Your chest felt like it had been ripped in two. Clutching a hand to your chest, you started to hyperventilate. You couldn’t breathe.

Panicking, you pulled your phone from your jacket pocket. You needed help. Fumbling with it, you managed to find the contact you were looking for while trying desperately to stop your hands from shaking.

It only took a few rings before the person on the other end answered.

_“What’s up, little one?”_

Hearing the nickname from Felix broke you even more. You could do nothing but cry. You were crying so hard, you felt like you would never stop.

 _“Y/N?! Whats wrong?!”_ Felix asked, clearly panicking the instant he heard your cries.

You couldn’t breathe, choking on your words and not being able to form a reply through your uncontrollable sobs. 

_“Breathe, Y/N…. breathe for me. Nice and slow, you can do it.”_ He tried to calm you.

You went along with it, taking slow and deep breaths between your gasps of pain as the tears kept flowing.

_“Tell me where you are."_

His voice soft but laced with concern. You took another deep breath, trying desperately to regain control.

"I… he…” You cried. 

You couldn’t do it.

_“You still in the practice room?”_

“Y- yes…” You gasped out.

_“I’m on my way. Stay on the phone, little one. Breathe with me.”_

You could hear the sound of quickening footsteps from his end of the phone. He was running to you. Saying sweet nothings to try and calm you, not saying or asking anything that would need you to give him a reply.

In what felt like minutes, the door to the practice room burst open.

Felix was stood there, looking frantically around the room with his phone in one hand. He was breathing heavily from the run. Your crying only got worse at the sight of his familiar face.

Spotting you on the sofa, he ran straight to you, kneeling in front of you and taking you into his arms without saying a word. His strong arms embraced you, pulling you close into his body.

You could do nothing but cry. Your breathing had slowed now that Felix was here, but you still couldn’t speak. You buried your face into his chest, gripping his shirt as if your life depended on it, not wanting him to let you go. You needed this contact. Never breaking your embrace, he stood up, pulling you with him. He pulled you in closer still, wrapping the sides of his black and white fur coat around you, enveloping you in warmth and safety. He gently stroked your hair, letting you cry.

“Lix…” You sobbed into his chest.

“Shhh…” He crooned, swaying the two of you gently back and forth.

“I… I feel like I’m breaking…”

Felix tightened his arms around you, as if he was trying to keep you together.

“Oh, little one…” He whispered. “It’ll all be okay…”

* * *

##### You weren’t sure how long you’d been stood there, clinging to Felix.

At some point, he’d taken your hand and walked you back to your apartment. You hadn’t exchanged many words, just simple things when he’d asked you which way to go to get to your place. He hadn’t asked you what had happened yet. And you were so thankful.

You were now at home, sitting in your bed. Felix had practically carried you in and tucked you straight into bed when your legs seemed to give way the second you walked through your door.

You were broken. The one person you had trusted more than anyone, had abandoned you. And worse, you still didn’t really know why. Was it because of what you’d done? Because he just didn’t care anymore?

He said he couldn’t give you what you needed right now. What did he think you needed? Why did he make that decision for you?

He said you couldn’t work through this together. Why not?

He said he was only putting you in a terrible situation. What situation? Did he mean with Minho?

He said… it didn’t matter if he loved you or not.

Why? That couldn’t be true…

If there was ever a reason to stay with someone, it should be because of love. Right? But he’d said that love didn’t matter. Your love didn’t matter to him. His love for you didn’t matter. It was meaningless.

So many questions were swimming around your head, your thoughts spiralling until they got too much for you to control. Your chest was so painful that you just wanted to cry until you had no more tears left.

Felix walked into your bedroom with a tray, placing it on the bed in front of you. A mug of hot tea and a bowl of what looked like porridge was set on it.

“You should eat.” He said softly. You didn’t give him a response.

He moved to sit on the bed next to you, placing his hand on yours.

“I won’t ask you what happened,” he said. “But please know that whatever it is, it’ll be okay. I’m here for you, whenever you need me.”

Your eyes began to well up with tears again.

“Why are you doing this for me?” You whispered. He smiled at you, squeezing your hand.

“Y/N… I know what it’s like to be alone in a new place. To not have any friends or family to support you. I will never let anyone go through that if I can help it. I relate to you more than you think…”

You smiled back at him as best you could, tears escaping your eyes.

“Eat…” he repeated again. “Then try and get some sleep.”

He stood up from the bed, pushing the tray closer to you.

“I’m staying the night. You shouldn’t be alone right now, and you definitely shouldn’t wake up alone tomorrow. If you need me, just call - I’ll be right in the next room.” He gave you a soft kiss on your head, stroking your hair down.

You gave him a weak thank you, wiping the tears from your eyes. You picked up the tea and took a small sip, setting it back on the tray. Felix left the room, leaving the door open just an inch so he would be able to hear you if you called.

You couldn’t have been more thankful for Felix right now. You hated to think about what state you would be in without him. You were already pretty bad even with him around.

Leaning back into your pillows, you closed your eyes. You couldn’t face eating something, you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep it down anyway. Felix was right, you did feel marginally better knowing that someone else was here for you. The thought of being alone frightened you.

The tears returned as your thoughts started to spiral again. Thoughts of Jisung. Of his words, of the look on his face when he’d spoken those words.

Without knowing entirely why and without thinking it through, you reached for your phone. You found his contact, tapping the call icon. It started ringing, and you held your breath in anticipation. You were sure he wouldn’t answer…

And he didn’t. 

After 3 rings, the call was cut off. You tried again. This time, it went straight to voicemail. He’d turned his phone off.

This was real. He didn’t want to talk to you. He didn’t want to be with you. He didn’t want _you_.

That night, you cried yourself to sleep. Your dreams were plagued with images of auburn eyes, caramel skin, and his smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	16. Sacrifice

##### Jisung ran.

He could do nothing but run.

The moment he’d left the practice room, he’d broken into a straight sprint, the sound of her sobs ringing in his ears as they faded away down the hall.

He’d bolted out of the JYP building as fast as he could, taking the back entrance to the street. Usually he would have done anything to avoid attracting unwanted attention to himself, but right now, that was the furthest thing from his mind. He just needed to get home.

He sprinted down the street with all the strength he could muster, tears blurring his vision and stinging his eyes, ignoring the people doing double takes as he flew past them.

After what seemed like mere moments, he eventually he got to his dorm building, flying up the stairs and crashing into the front door. He hoped none of the other members were home as he fumbled with the lock.

He went inside, slamming the door shut behind him and making a break for his room.

“Han-ie?” Called a familiar voice.

Jisung stopped in his tracks, turning to see Hyunjin peering at him from over the back of the sofa. Hyunjin’s eyes went wide when he noticed the state of his friend.

“What happened?” He asked, concern in his voice. He stood up from his seat and when to reach for him.

“Nothing!” Jisung replied, holding a hand up to stop him from coming any closer.

“Nothing’s happened… I- I’m just not feeling well. Allergy season.” He stammered, trying his best to sound like he wasn’t having an internal meltdown.

Hyunjin narrowed his eyes, staring at him intently. He looked like he was about to say something, then decided against it. Shrugging his shoulders, he took the hint and plopped himself back down on the sofa.

Jisung internally thanked god that he’d decided to give up, and headed straight to his room.

 _Please, please, please… don’t let I.N be here_.

Cracking open the door, he risked peeking his head around. Empty.

Rushing inside and closing the door, he flipped the lock and threw himself on his bed.

His resolve crumbled as the safety of his bed enveloped him, and he finally allowed the rush of tears he’d been desperately fighting back to escape, releasing heart wrenching sobs into his pillow. His knuckles turned white as he clung to the sheets, burying his face into the fabric to muffle his cries of pain. There was only one other time in his life when he’d cried like this… and he had prayed that he’d never have to feel this kind of hurt after that.

He was breaking. Again.

* * *

##### As the tears had begun to gradually subside, Jisung tried to organise his hopelessly convoluted thoughts in an attempt to rationalise what had just happened.

He had his reasons for doing this to her. And at the time, in his head, those reasons had made sense.

She didn’t deserve to be dragged into this mess. She deserved to be loved. To be protected. At first Jisung had thought he could be the one to do that. But he had only ended up hurting her.

_Get her out of the picture. Protect her._

That had been his first thought when he’d realised that Minho knew about her.

Because he knew what Minho was capable of all too well. He’d been on the receiving end of it.

Minho could be the sweetest person in the world. Lovable, caring and _so_ passionate. But he had an insatiable need to possess. A need to control you, own you, and be your only reason for living. That was the dominant in him. And Jisung himself had reveled in it, to a point.

Their relationship had gone from friendship to something so much more. Minho had been his best friend and his comfort through the hard times they’d experienced during their trainee days, and even after that. No matter how much Jisung had tried not to, it had been impossible for him not to develop feelings.

He’d fallen in love with Minho’s kindness and his personality. It was like the two of them existed on their own wavelength, seeming to instantly know what the other was thinking or what they needed. They were just _compatible_ , in almost every way _._

And the sex… _fuck,_ the sex. Minho had been the first person he’d ever been with. It had started off so gently, with Minho being attentive and careful with him at all times, as if he feared that Jisung might break if he couldn’t control himself. It was only after Jisung had pleaded with him and reassured him that he could take it, that Minho had really revealed his dominant side. He had taken Jisung to highs of pleasure that he had only ever dreamed of… Even just thinking about it made him hard.

But their happiness had been cut short, brutally and abruptly. Before it had even really begun.

The company had threatened to end their careers, saying they’d had to pay hundreds of thousands in cash to silence someone who had evidence of the nature of their relationship. They were going to be kept under close surveillance by representatives of the company until they were convinced they’d stopped what they were doing. And so they had no choice.

That was the first time Jisung had his heart broken. He became a shell. It took him months to come to terms with the fact that their relationship was over, and even now, his heart still ached whenever Minho’s name was mentioned. He had cried so many tears he wasn’t sure he had any left. He secluded himself, and mourned. This was how he just managed to get by.

Minho dealt with it a different way.

He became someone that Jisung barely recognised. He cut off all contact, spent nights out of the dorms and subdued himself totally. Drinking. Dancing at clubs. Fucking strangers - men, women, it didn’t matter. His temper got the best of him almost every day, small things creating huge arguments with the members until they learned to just avoid him entirely and give him his space unless they could visibly see that he was in a good mood. Which wasn’t very often. He was unpredictable and reckless. And this side of him scared Jisung, even if he knew it was Minho’s way of coping.

The members had supported them both through it as best they could, being understanding and patient. The surveillance also eventually stopped when the company was satisfied. But it had been hell for everyone.

Over the passing months, the two of them had slowly started to reestablish their friendship. With the upcoming tour fast approaching, they needed to at least be on speaking terms, as painful as it was.

But Minho had been irreparably damaged from the heartache. A part of him had been lost, and Jisung could sense it. Every time Jisung so much as looked in another persons’ direction, smiled at them or laughed at what they were saying, Minho would see red. Jealousy would consume him. His dominant side and the possessive nature he’d always harboured had been exacerbated, and it was now simply his way of life.

And he’d take it out on Jisung in the subtlest of ways.

He would make an effort to get to know the person Jisung was supposedly ‘flirting’ with, which wasn’t difficult for him. Minho was inherently likable, people had always flocked to him and it wasn’t unusual for him to just start talking to people he didn’t know. So no one suspected a thing.

But Minho would do everything he could to take that person’s affections away from Jisung, even if that meant fucking them - entirely for his own release, of course, rather than to form any sort of attachment. Most of the time, Jisung hadn’t noticed what was happening because he wasn’t actually flirting at all. It was all just harmless socialising to him. He only realised when he noticed those people ignoring his greetings or his attempts to talk, instead pushing past him to get to Minho, hanging off him like cats in heat. It was a recurring thing, and initially Jisung was confused.

But that night with her and Minho had confirmed it for him. He’d put the pieces together. Minho was trying to take her away from him, too. Trying to tell Jisung that although they weren’t together, he still _belonged_ to him. Because Minho couldn’t let go.

That was what Jisung had wanted to spare her from. He wanted to protect her from Minho’s fucked up way of venting his jealousy. Even if it was already too late, he had to try. Of course, he didn’t want to lose her… she was the only thing in a long time that had made him this happy. But if cutting her off was the only way to protect her, he was prepared to do it. Minho would _surely_ leave her alone when he found out they weren’t together anymore.

He would sacrifice his own happiness if it meant she was safe. He knew it would hurt her, at first. But she’d heal in time. They both would… right?

Wrong.

Who was he trying to convince?

The look on her face back in the practice room when he’d said those words haunted him. The sound of her crying, of her heart visibly breaking in front of him repeated in his head, making his chest feel like it was going to split in two. He hadn’t expected it to hurt this much. How had he become so attached so quickly?

_***ring ring*** _

Jisung’s heart skipped a beat, the harsh ringtone of his phone pulling him out of his head.

He checked the caller ID. It was her.

He couldn’t speak to her right now. He was scared of what he would say. Scared that he would beg for her to take him back, or that he would say something he’d regret.

He rejected the call, then switched off his phone, throwing it to the end of his bed.

His head was swimming with thoughts and questions. The voices in his head were all talking at once, clamoring at him, each one of them saying different things.

All he knew for certain right now, was that he’d never felt so alone.

* * *

##### Jisung was awoken by a loud knocking on his bedroom door.

Noticing the light flooding through the curtains, he realised he’d slept straight through the night.

“Han-hyung!! Please open the door!” It was Jeongin, whining from the corridor.

Rubbing his eyes, he dragged himself up from his bed and went to unlock the door. He felt so lethargic after that shit nights sleep.

“Jeez, I was knocking for ages! You realise I had to sleep in Hyunjin-hyungs’ room last night because of you!? You must have been so out of it!” The younger half laughed and grumbled.

Jisung hummed in response, throwing himself back on his bed and stuffing his face into the pillows. He didn’t want to talk. Just sleep.

Jeongin went about his own business, collecting his things for the day and not paying too much attention to Jisung.

That was until their bedroom door flew open with so much force that it slammed into the wall, bouncing back on itself.

Both boys looked up in surprise, caught off guard by the sudden entrance.

Before Jisung could even react, Felix had him by the scruff of his shirt, dragging him off his bed with gritted teeth and a deathly glare in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	17. Support

##### “Yah! What the hell hyung?!”

Jeongin shouted, utterly baffled by the sudden entrance as he went to put himself between Felix and Jisung.

“Stay out of this!” The Australian shot the younger an ice cold glare, causing him to stop dead in his tracks. Jeongin hesitantly retreated a few steps backwards, taken aback at the outburst. He’d never seen him like this before.

Felix turned his attention back to Jisung, who had no expression on his face, despite the unusual confrontation and the fact that Felix had him by the scruff of his shirt.

“What the fuck did you do to her?” He growled through gritted teeth.

Jisung said nothing.

Felix tightened his grip on his shirt, his knuckles turning white as he shook him to try and get a response.

“I said- what the _fuck_ did you do!?” He shouted this time, his face inches away from Jisung’s.

Jisung’s jaw tensed at the tone he was being spoken to with, and he pushed his friend off him with both hands, shoving him backwards into the wall.

“It’s got nothing to do with you!”

_Why was Felix getting involved? And how did he even know about this?_

“Don’t just burst in here like some clueless white knight and demand answers from me. Get the fuck out of here.” He spat, turning away from him.

Felix went for him again, seething with anger. Jeongin quickly moved to stop the older, positioning himself between the two of them with his arms outstretched in defence.

“You’re delusional if you think this doesn’t involve us now,” Felix growled over the younger. “She called me when she had no one else to turn to! After _you_ abandoned her.”

Jisung snapped his head up, glaring at the boy. The beginnings of rage were beginning to bubble inside him. He could feel himself losing it.

“Why the fuck would she call you?!”

Felix smirked at him.

“I helped her out with some stuff. I guess she just trusts me.”

Jisung took a deep breath. He needed to compose himself before he did something he’d regret. He did _not_ need this right now.

“Well I guess you can go ask her what happened then, seeing as you’re such good buddies.”

“You think I didn’t try?! She couldn’t stop crying long enough to put words together, you _fucking_ asshole!”

Felix lunged for Jisung again, and Jeongin propped himself up against the older’s chest, desperately trying to keep the two boys away from each other.

“Move, Jeongin-sii!” Felix growled, shoving him to the side with just enough force to get him out of the way.

Not sure what else to do, the maknae ran out of the room. He needed to get help before this escalated.

Both boys squared up to each other the moment Jeongin left, closing the distance between them.

“Did you break up with her?” Felix asked, eyes piercing into Jisung.

“Yes…” Jisung replied coldly.

Felix grabbed the scruff of his shirt again.

“Why?!”

“Because I had to. To protect her.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Felix laughed, disbelief in his voice. “In what twisted world does abandoning the person you care about mean you’re protecting them!?”

“I don’t need to explain everything to you Felix, and I don’t expect you to understand!”

“Is it because of Lee Know-hyung?” Felix asked, his voice a tone deeper, but still quaking with anger.

Jisung snapped at the mention of the older’s name, grabbing the scruff of Felix’s shirt just like he had done to him.

“Seriously Felix, stop pushing this…” He growled.

“How could you do that to her? You drag her across the world to be with you and just ditch her the second Lee Know-hyung shows you that he still cares?!”

The blood rushed to Jisung’s head as he heard the words. His self-control was slipping by the second.

“You’re _pathetic_.”

Felix pushed him back against the wall, releasing his grip on him and turning to leave. This argument was going nowhere. He had nothing left to say.

But Jisung saw red as his composure finally crumbled.

Grabbing Felix by the shoulder, he spun him around and simultaneously landed one swift punch against his jaw, knocking him to the ground.

At that exact moment, Changbin ran into the room, with an out of breath Jeongin following close behind.

He absorbed the scene in shock, eyes darting from Jisung in his angered state to Felix, sprawled out on the floor clutching at his jaw.

“What the hell is going on?!” Changbin shouted at the two of them, moving to Felix’s side.

“You okay? Look at me…” He cooed at Felix, moving his hand from his face to check the damage. The boy winced at the touch, his jaw red and sore.

Changbin’s eyes narrowed and he scowled up at Jisung, who was now visibly shaking, his cheeks red as he welled up with tears.

“Just… leave me the fuck alone!” He cried, running out of the room.

“Go after him.” Changbin directed at Jeongin.

“Are… are you sure that’s a good idea hyung?” Jeongin stammered.

“He can’t be left alone right now. Call Chan-hyung if you need to, just don’t lose sight of him.”

Jeongin nodded in understanding and left the room, leaving Felix and Changbin alone.

“What happened, baby?” Changbin asked, wrapping his strong arms around him as he pulled him close to his chest.

Felix remained silent, shaking his head. He was still shaking with fury from the encounter.

“Hey…” Changbin purred, lifting Felix’s chin to look at him. “Words. You answer me when I talk to you, baby.”

A slight shiver ran through Felix at the sound of his doms’ stern but soft voice, the anger in him subsiding almost immediately.

“He hurt me…” Felix whimpered, feeling himself fall into submission as he melted into Changbin’s warm touch. The older hummed in response, hushing him and planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Let’s go get some ice on that…” He sighed, pulling Felix up from the floor carefully.

“Can’t believe he’s left a mark…” Changbin tutted under his breath. “Everyone knows I’m the only one that’s allowed to mark my pretty boy.”

Felix giggled at the comment, nuzzling into the older’s shoulder as his cheeks flushed a light a shade of pink.

* * *

##### Jisung was running again.

He’d bolted out of the dorm and headed straight for the only place he knew he would be alone. A small park nearby that they often went to during their trainee days.

Reaching the park, he looked around and spotted the small, multicoloured playhouse nestled at the back. He quickly climbed inside it, hiding himself out of the sight of anyone that might be looking for him. He was safe here.

Bringing his knees up to his chest, Jisung buried his head between them and cried. He couldn’t believe he’d lashed out at Felix like that. They’d had arguments before, but never anything physical. Never anything like this.

Changbin was going to be so mad with him. Everyone would be. They’d all hate him.

“Han-ie?” A familiar voice called.

Jisung instantly recognised it as Chan.

“You in there mate?” He called again, softer this time. He was right outside the playhouse, but he didn’t attempt to come in. Chan knew this place was a hideout for him. He knew to give him his space.

“… Yes.”

“I.N-ie called me. I won’t ask if you’re okay,” he spoke. “But do you wanna talk about it?”

“… No.”

“Okay,” Chan sighed. “Then I guess I’ll just have to wait here ‘til you do.”

Chan leaned against the side of the playhouse, crossing his arms over his chest. Jisung could see his back through the small window, and the simple sight made him feel better. Just knowing Chan was here, and that he didn’t seem to be angry, gave him comfort. But he still wanted to be alone.

“Go home hyung. Please.”

“No can do, Han-ie.” He smiled. “I’m not about to leave a member of my crew alone.”

* * *

##### Jisung wasn’t sure how long they’d been at the park, but it felt like hours.

A shiver ran through him as the cold evening air began to settle in.

Chan hadn’t said a word since. He’d just waited, patiently.

Jisung’s legs had started to stiffen and his back was aching from the awkward position he’d been sitting in. He knew he wouldn’t be able to move at all if he sat like this for much longer.

Deciding that this ache wasn’t worth it, Jisung tentatively climbed out of the small house, almost getting stuck in the little doorway until Chan held out his hand to help him.

Jisung gave him a small smile in thanks, stretching out his legs as he began to walk.

The two of them started to head back to the dorm, neither of them saying a word. He knew Chan didn’t want to pressure him into talking if he wasn’t ready. That was just Chan. Tolerant, understanding and totally in tune with his members’ feelings.

They eventually got to their building, taking their time up the stairs to their apartment. As they approached their place, Chan placed a gentle arm on Jisung’s.

“No doubt they all know about what happened by now,” he warned softly. “I’ll do what I can to keep them under control… but, you’ll have to explain things yourself. Okay?” He smiled warmly, squeezing Jisung’s arm in reassurance.

Jisung nodded. He knew what was coming, and although he’d resigned himself to it, it still scared him. But Chan’s presence offered him a small solace. He felt better knowing that the older was supporting him.

Stepping into their dorm, they were surprised to find it totally quiet. There was no talking, no sounds of music or background noise coming from any of the rooms. Just silence.

Chan ushered Jisung into the main sitting room, only to be greeted by the cold gazes of the other members.

“You’re back.” Changbin stated matter-of-factly.

He was sat on the sofa, Felix next to him with his arm wound tightly around Changbin’s, resting his head on his shoulder. Jeongin was sat the other side of Changbin, followed by Seungmin and Hyunjin. They were all here. All except Minho.

Chan moved to stand in front of Jisung, approaching his members with both hands held up in defence.

“Why don’t we give Han-ie a chance to explain things to us before you all start with your interrogation.” He said to everyone in the room.

Jeongin nodded in agreement, looking at the other guys. He very clearly didn’t want any more fighting. He’d had enough for one day.

Jisung sat on the floor in front of them, legs crossed and hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt uncomfortably. He knew he had to tell them what was going on, before it escalated any further.

Sighing heavily, he tentatively began to tell his members everything.

How he couldn’t stop thinking about her after that night at the London concert. How he had been the one to make the first move and get in touch with her. How he’d asked her to move to Seoul, and how he’d made her his girlfriend. He was occasionally interrupted by exclamations of disbelief or questions from the other members, which Chan would field by telling them to wait until he was done.

He told them about what had happened that night with Minho, what he’d walked in on. And how it made him feel. How he’d made the decision to break up with her, to protect her.

The more he explained, the better he felt. But now that he was going over it again, he couldn’t help realising that the logic he’d put behind breaking off his relationship with her just didn’t sit well with him. Perhaps Felix had been right. It really didn’t make any sense to abandon her in the hopes that Minho would leave her alone.

When he was done, he risked a look at his members faces. They ranged from expressions of sympathy, confusion, anger, to some that he couldn’t quite make out.

“So…” Changbin sighed. “This was all over a girl?”

Jisung nodded in response, eyes fixed to the floor.

“Always figured you batted for the other team after what went on with Lee Know-hyung.” He scoffed, throwing his arm around Felix.

Chan tutted at him disapprovingly.

“You’re really gonna throw judgement at him for what he likes, _daddy_?” The older scolded. Changbin visibly stiffened in his seat as Felix smirked at the mention of his doms’ preferred pet name.

Hyunjin made a dramatic gagging motion at the nickname, quickly changing the topic.

“Sounds to me like you need to set things straight with Lee Know-hyung. Neither of you ever really got the closure you needed, right? Maybe you can sort things out with him _and_ get back with your lovely lady friend.” He mused.

“He’s right.” Chan said, looking at Jisung with a smile.

“But…” Seungmin started, resting his chin on his hands. “Is closure even what you want, Han-ie?”

Jisung looked at him, confused.

“If you get closure, will that fix things? Can you really, wholeheartedly commit to this girl? Without ever thinking about Lee Know-hyung again?” He asked.

All eyes turned to look at Jisung.

He felt the tears well up in his eyes. He knew that ultimately, this was what it all came down to.

Love.

The obsessive, all-consuming love that Minho had for him. The type that tears you apart and puts the fragile pieces back together, over and over again like an addiction that you know might kill you one day. Jisung never wanted to lose it, despite himself.

And the pure, selfless love that she gave him. The kind that heals broken souls, makes you feel wanted and cared for again. The love that warms your heart and wraps you in safety, building up implicit trust and comfort. It was her love that had saved him, in the end. And Jisung couldn’t bear to face life without it.

Love isn’t just something you can switch off.

His head was screaming at him to make a decision. Choose one. Let the other go. Do the right thing.

But his heart was crying out for both of them. He needed them both. He loved them both. Unconditionally.

“I… I don’t know. I’m so fucking confused…” He cried, burying his head in his hands.

Surprisingly, it was Felix that was the first to comfort him.

Wrapping his arms around his friend from behind, he swayed him gently back and forth as Jisung sobbed. Chan placed a comforting hand on his knee, letting him know he was there for him. Hyunjin also moved to him, taking the side that Felix wasn’t on, wrapping his long arms around the two of them.

Wordlessly, they sat around him in a huddle. Using all their strength to hold him and his heart together, as he broke in their embrace.

All Jisung wanted, was for the pain to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	18. Release

##### “You don’t have to do this alone, hyung.”

Jeongin reassured with a bright smile on his face, despite the clear concern in his eyes.

Jisung had eventually stopped crying after his members had comforted him. In all the years he’d spent with them, he couldn’t remember a time where he’d been more grateful to have them around. They were invaluable to him.

Tears stained his shirt and cheeks, and Chan handed him a bunch of tissues so he could get himself cleaned up.

“I.N-ie’s right,” Felix smiled. “We’ll support you with this. You just need to talk to us.”

“Yeah. Don’t shut us out Han-ie.” Chan echoed the other members’ sentiments.

Jisung admittedly felt better having talked through everything with his members. Regardless of however badly he was hurting, he knew he’d always have them on side.

“Lix… I’m sorry for hitting you,” he said quietly, still too ashamed to look his friend in the face.

“Meh… it’s all good now.” Felix chuckled, causing the other members to cringe and laugh at the familiar words.

“Why don’t you go chill in your room for a bit and we’ll get something to eat. All this excitement has made Chris hungry.” Chan exclaimed, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“As long as you’re paying!” Changbin shouted from across the room. The leader rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath.

Smiling at his friends in thanks, Jisung gathered himself from the floor and headed to his room. The first thing he wanted to do was shower and change. He’d been wearing these clothes since yesterday, and he now realised how gross he felt. Pulling his shirt off over his head, he threw it in the laundry basket and headed to the bathroom.

“Han-ah, we’re going to pick the food up, we won’t be long!” Chan shouted from the living room. Seungmin, Felix and Changbin all headed to their rooms to do their own thing, while Chan, Hyunjin and Jeongin left the apartment on food duty.

Shutting the bathroom door behind him, Jisung fiddled with the shower controls until he got it to a bearable temperature. He shrugged off his shorts and boxers, climbing in before the cold air of the bathroom had a chance to set in. Putting his hands against the wall, he stood under the water and let it run over the nape of his neck, shivering in response as it travelled down his back.

It felt good, and granted Jisung just a small moment of peace. The voices in his head went quiet, leaving nothing but the trickling sensation of warmth on his skin.

* * *

##### He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in there, but a loud rapping on the bathroom door surprised him.

He quickly turned off the shower, hopping out and wrapping a towel around his waist, not bothering to dry himself.

Rushing to the door, he yanked it open as a billowing cloud of steam escaped the room. He fully expected to see Chan with their food.

“That was quick, what did you g-”

Except Minho was stood in front of him, eyes wide with surprise.

“H- hyung…” Jisung stammered, his heart pounding involuntarily. He became immediately aware of the fact that he was naked from the waist up.

Minho looked him up and down, as if taking in every bit of his body. Jisung’s damp blonde hair clung to his face deliciously. His caramel skin glistened with the steam condensation and hot water, only making his toned abs and muscles more defined. The towel around his waist hung loosely from his v-line, doing nothing to conceal the bulge between his legs. Minho visibly swallowed, clearing his throat.

“I need to use the bathroom.” He stated, his voice raspy.

Pushing past Jisung, he started to unbuckle his jeans as he headed for the toilet. Jisung simply stared, saying nothing.

“You want to watch or…?” Minho glared at him.

“S- sorry-” Jisung replied quickly, rushing out into the hall. He ran to his room and slammed the door shut behind him, trying to catch his breath as he threw himself against it.

If he ever needed confirmation that his feelings for Minho weren’t gone, this was it. His heart was thudding with an adrenaline fuelled urgency, pounding in his ears.

Shaking his head to try and clear it of the panic, he frantically searched for fresh clothes, settling on a thin white t-shirt and grey sweats. He tussled his hair dry with the towel, deciding to leave it to air dry. He was way too hot to use the hair dryer right now anyway. Although he didn’t know if that was due to the shower, or his run in with Minho.

“Han-ah, we’re back!” Called Chan from the living room. Jisung thanked god and headed to where his members were. They were fussing around the table, Jeongin and Seugmin laying out chopsticks and bowls while the others laid out the various dishes around them.

Jisung inhaled the scent of the food, saliva forming in his mouth. He was starving.

“Come sit.” Chan beamed, patting one of the chairs next to him.

Jisung gladly obliged, plopping himself down and getting stuck in to all the different dishes, scarfing food down his throat.

“Yah, slow down Han-ah. You’ll choke.” Changbin smirked.

“Let the boy eat, hyung. He clearly needs it.” Felix cooed, stroking his boyfriend’s arm.

The members ate happily, chatting absently here and there about nothing in particular, too focused on their food to notice Minho walking out the bathroom and into the living room.

Minho nonchalantly sat at the end of the table, picking up chopsticks and leaning across to take a handful of kimchi.

Hyunjin was the first to notice Minho’s presence, visibly choking on the food in his mouth at the sight of the older. This got the other members attention, who all stopped what they were doing.

“L- Lee Know-hyung?” Seungmin stammered.

Minho flashed him a complacent glance, still collecting food from the table.

“Hm?”

Chan cleared his throat, setting down his bowl.

“When did you get back?” He asked.

“Not too long ago.” Minho replied, shoving food into his mouth.

“Oh, good. Well your timing is great. Uh… I think you and Han-ie should talk.” Chan exclaimed softly, his eyes moving between the two boys, measuring their expressions.

As expected, Minho didn’t react.

“What for?” He asked coldly.

“We all know what’s going on, hyung,” Changbin added. “Han-ie told us everything.”

Jisung tensed up, as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Minho sighed heavily, putting his bowl down.

“And what exactly is going on? Care to enlighten me?” He directed at Jisung, eyes burning a hole into him. Chan answered for him, sensing the growing tension in the air.

“You’ve hurt people, mate. I don’t know if it was intentional or not… but you lashed out at Han-ie’s girlfriend, and now they’ve broken up. It’s not right.”

Minho narrowed his eyes, still staring at Jisung.

“Is that true?” He asked quietly. Jisung nodded in response, not being able to meet his gaze.

Minho stood up from his seat, hand outstretched to the younger.

“Let’s go talk. In private.”

Chan put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s back, nodding at him in encouragement. Jisung was reluctant to go with him, but at least knowing his members were close by made him feel better. Like a safety alarm if he needed it.

Standing from his seat, he walked past Minho towards his room, ignoring the hand he had offered him. Minho rolled his eyes and followed the younger.

“They’ll be okay,” Chan smiled at the rest of the group, noticing the concern on their faces as the two walked away. “Eat, eat!” He directed. Reluctantly, they all turned their attention back to the food in front of them.

* * *

##### “Talk to me, Sungie.”

Minho leaned against the door with his arms crossed.

Jisung sat on his bed, as far away from Minho as he could get.

“Don’t call me that.”

He knew he was being childish, but the sheer mention of the nickname reminded him of days past, when him and Minho had been in an _entirely_ different kind of relationship.

Minho raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? You used to love being called that.”

Jisung shot him a glare, fighting off the burning sensation in his cheeks.

“I think it’s fair to say the things we like have changed since then, hyung. We’ve both changed.” Jisung replied.

Minho shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

“I don’t think I’m that different.”

“So you’ve always enjoyed fucking with people?” Jisung scoffed under his breath.

Pushing himself off the door gracefully, Minho sat beside Jisung on the bed.

“I’ve always enjoyed _fucking_.” He corrected the younger.

Jisung tensed at the older’s proximity.

_Please don’t come any closer._

“So… is it really my fault you broke up with the girl?” He leaned back on his elbows, kicking his feet over the edge of the bed. Jisung could feel him staring at his back, and it was making his body temperature skyrocket.

“Yes.” He muttered.

“Wanna tell me why?”

He could hear the smirk in Minho’s voice. As if he didn’t know.

Jisung tried to think of a way to explain it that would make sense. He didn’t want to make Minho angry if he could help it.

“You…” He began, but then he stopped himself.

_Why should I have to tiptoe around this?_

“Why did you do that to her?” He finally asked, his voice breaking.

Minho sat up, leaning closer to the younger.

“Do what…?” He asked, his tone raspy.

“Touch her like that! Make her… c- cum like that! Did you know I was going to see it?!”

Anger began to bubble inside him, despite his best efforts to stay calm. He hated that Minho was playing dumb, trying to coax the words out of him.

“Maybe I did… maybe not.” He murmured, leaning closer still to the youngers’ ear.

Jisung shuddered involuntarily.

“Did it hurt?” Minho asked vindictively.

Jisung whipped his head around to look at him, eyes glaring. But he hadn’t realised Minho was so close to him. Their faces were now inches apart.

“Of course it fucking hurt…” Jisung’s words came out as barely a whisper.

It had been a long time since he had seen Minho up this close. His eyes were a stunning hazel brown, his luscious lashes framing them beautifully. The small, mole-like blemish on the side of his nose was still there - it was only noticeable when you were looking at him like this. His full lips were slightly parted, and Jisung could almost feel his cinnamon scented breath.

“I’m sorry, Sungie…” Minho whispered.

Jisung felt himself crumbling at the sound of the pet name, his resolve dissipating further every second their eyes stayed locked. He was drowning in Minho all over again.

“Let me take all your pain away, baby…”

His gaze flicked over the younger’s features, his eyes hooded and laced with desire. Jisung inhaled sharply, his eyes fluttering as he failed to steel himself.

“No more talking… no more thinking or crying…”

His words were like a spell. And Jisung didn’t want him to stop. He was falling back into that familiar safe place that he had missed for so long. His heart ached for this man, his stomach knotted with anticipation.

He fucking _needed_ him.

Without thinking, he laced his arms around Minho’s neck, pulling him in. The older followed his lead willingly, positioning himself over him on the bed.

Jisung’s breathing was erratic, his cheeks flushed and skin hot. Eyes wide with wanting, he stared at the older above him.

Minho gently brushed the younger’s hair off his face, tracing his fingers along his jawline to his neck.

“Are you sure?” Minho whispered, biting on his own lip as he looked down at him.

“No more talking…” Jisung repeated the older’s words, though they were barely audible.

Minho closed the distance between them. It was tentative at first, careful and slow. But passion soon took over as he felt every inch of Jisung’s beautifully soft lips against his. Minho’s stomach was doing somersaults, he could feel the pounding of Jisung’s heart through his thin shirt. They were lost in each other, reconnecting through this kiss, their lips parting only when they needed to gasp for breath.

Minho slid his hand up the younger’s shirt, caressing his skin and letting his fingers wander over the ridges of his abs. He was warm to the touch, his skin still just as silky and smooth as it had ever been. Jisung let out a small sigh of content, spreading his legs open to allow Minho to move between them.

Seeming to know exactly what the younger needed, Minho complied and carefully settled himself in a missionary position. Memories of long forgotten encounters with this boy flooded through Minho’s mind, reminding him of how good they used to be.

Slowly, he broke their kiss, lifting himself above Jisung with both arms either side of his head.

Jisung’s cheeks were flushed a hot shade of red, his full lips marked slightly pink as he panted quietly for breath. His eyes were dazzling, staring straight through Minho. The sight tugged at his heart, hurting and healing him in ways he’d never thought possible.

“So beautiful…”

Almost instinctively, as if wanting to make the younger fall apart, Minho rolled his hips against Jisung’s groin, creating friction between the two of them.

Jisung let out a raspy groan, making Minho tense. There was the little noise he remembered… the sound of heaven.

He needed to hear more.

Burying his head in the younger’s neck, he rolled his hips again, grinding their areas together deliciously as he reduced him to a whimpering mess. Jisung squirmed underneath him, small whines escaping him as he clung to the older’s shoulders.

“Hyung…” Jisung whispered, the appeal coming out as a helpless moan as Minho continued his motions. The older lifted his head, smirking to himself at the desperate expression on the younger’s face. He was even more flushed, the beginnings of sweat forming on his brow.

“Please…” He pleaded quietly.

“Tell me what you want, Sungie. Use your words.” Minho encouraged. Just like he used to.

Jisung shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. He couldn’t take Minho in his dominant state right now. He didn’t want to fall any deeper into submission. He couldn’t bear how fucking hot he looked as he ground down into him, biting his lip and grunting quietly under his breath at the contact. It was driving him crazy, tipping him over the edge.

Minho froze the second Jisung shook his head, a look of concern crossing his face. Minho had always held consent at the forefront of his mind when things got heated, because he knew he had a tendency to lose control. The second he sensed Jisung was in any kind of discomfort, he would stop what they were doing and take care of him.

Realising what he’d done and how Minho must have interpreted that, Jisung held the older’s face in both his hands, pulling him in for another kiss.

“Don’t stop, please…” He whispered into his lips.

“I need you to tell me what you want, Sungie.”

Jisung slid his hands down to Minho’s hips, pulling him back flush against his body. He bucked his groin up into the older, grinding sensually against him. The friction was sheer divination as their erections pulsated and rubbed together through the fabric of their thin sweats, pushing both of them into a hungry daze.

“I need you, hyung. I need you to make me feel good.” Jisung muttered. “I don’t care how…”

That was all the consent Minho needed. It was all he’d wanted to hear.

“Fuck, Sungie…” He groaned through his teeth.

Sitting back on his legs, he pulled Jisung by his hands to sit upright.

“I’m gonna take this off, baby.” He tugged at the thin shirt Jisung was wearing. The younger nodded wordlessly, eyes hooded and never moving from Minho’s gaze.

Minho pulled the his shirt off over his head, throwing it to the floor and lowering Jisung back to the bed, admiring his sculpted body as he did so.

He shifted down to the younger’s legs, pulling gently on the cord of his grey sweats.

“These next…” He purred, making sure Jisung knew what was coming. Jisung hummed in response again, lifting his hips upwards as the older dipped his fingers into the waistband, sliding them down over his legs. Minho was almost caught off guard when he saw that Jisung wasn’t wearing any boxers underneath. His solid erection sprung free, bouncing gently against his stomach, and the sight made Minho drool. He’d almost forgotten how fucking beautiful he was… smooth and flawless, bigger than average… and so easily stimulated if you knew what he liked.

Now completely naked, Jisung instinctively spread his legs, assuming Minho would come back to him.

“No, Sungie…” He smiled, bringing Jisung’s legs back together to lie flat on the bed. He disappeared from view, trailing small, wet kisses along his body, from his ankles to his thighs, licking and nipping at the sensitive spots of skin and the places he knew Jisung liked to be touched. The boy writhed under his movements, arching his back as he pleaded incoherently. Minho smirked to himself at the unadulterated reaction.

_And he says he’s changed…_

“I need to taste you.” Minho murmured. Jisung propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes glassy and chest heaving. He’d always enjoyed watching… Minho recalled how many times he’d watched him before.

Tentatively, Minho dragged his tongue across the length of Jisung’s shaft, gently slicking him up. Jisung’s thighs instantly tensed underneath him, the breath catching in his throat.

Minho repeated the gesture from the tip of his cock back to the base, teasing and stimulating. Jisung whined in desperation, biting on his lip.

“D- don’t tease…”

Hearing his words and granting him mercy, he gradually took Jisung’s member into his mouth, sliding his lips over the tip and swirling his tongue around as he took him in. He sucked him down to the back of his throat, hollowing out his cheeks as he came back up. Gradually, he picked up the pace, head bobbing and hands gripping Jisung’s thighs tightly.

“Ah, _fuck_ …” Jisung hissed through gritted teeth, his hands forming into balls as he gripped at the bed sheets. Minho glanced up at him, feeling fire burn in his stomach and a pang of satisfaction at the sight of the younger losing himself to his advances.

Continuing his assault, he sucked on the sensitive tip and laved his tongue over the slit, collecting all the delicious pre-cum that had leaked from him. He felt like he could do this forever, but he knew Jisung wouldn’t take much more.

“Hyung… I… I’m gonna cum…” Jisung whimpered, giving the older the warning he’d been trained to.

Minho hummed in understanding, using his hand to pump the base of Jisung’s cock while his mouth remained around the tip, tongue licking and swirling, enticing him to release.

“It’s okay, Sungie… cum for me baby.”

Minho’s words were all it were took for Jisung to reach his intense high. The younger quivered violently as he came undone, cursing under his breath. Minho keened as felt his release flood his mouth, hot and thick. _Fuck_ , he had missed this.

He patiently let Jisung ride out his orgasm, pumping him gently and soothing his thigh with his free hand.

When he was satisfied Jisung was done, he climbed off the bed. He grabbed a tissue to spit out Jisung’s release, throwing it into the trash bin and wiping his mouth with one hand. He’d never swallowed, despite how much he loved his taste.

Meanwhile, Jisung was totally blissed out, naked and sweating, his eyes closed as he caught his breath. He looked exhausted, like he’d just exploded weeks worth of emotions and stress all at once. Minho smiled at the sight, ingraining the image into his memory.

Minho grabbed the bed sheets, gently throwing them over the younger to cover him. He climbed inside and settled in behind him, putting his arms around his waist and pulling his back flush to his broad chest. He radiated warmth and familiarity.

“Hyung…?” Jisung whispered, his words barely audible as the tides of sleep began to consume him.

“Hm?”

“I missed you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	19. Confessions

##### “I missed you..”

Those three small words made Minho recoil, piercing his chest like a blade.

They were simple, yet they meant so much. Because in truth, Minho had missed him too. He desperately wanted to be with him, and he knew that the things he’d been doing - lashing out at others, drowning his heartache in hopeless numbing vices had only hurt the younger even more.

He pulled Jisung close, wordlessly stroking his hair and letting the feeling of comfort and familiarity heal him, as sleep embraced the two of them.

* * *

##### Minho was awoken by a gentle knocking on the bedroom door.

“Guys, everything okay?”

It was Chan was calling from the other side.

Carefully untangling himself from the still sleeping younger’s arms, Minho went to answer it. Morning had approached as the curtains allowed a small sliver of sunlight to peek through.

Quietly opening the door, Minho put a finger to his lips, indicating for Chan to be quiet. Peering over his shoulder, Chan noticed the sleeping boy.

“I assume things went well?” He whispered, raising an eyebrow.

Minho glared at him, stepping out the of room and shutting the door gently.

“We didn’t really talk, if that’s what you mean.”

Chris rolled his eyes dramatically.

“You can’t keep avoiding it, you know.”

“I know.” Minho replied, his tone deadpan.

Heading to the kitchen, he started rifling through the drawers and cupboards, pulling out dry noodles and a saucepan.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Chan asked persistently as he followed him into the room.

“I don’t fucking know, hyung, what do you suggest? The three of us date together?” Minho snapped sarcastically. He didn’t want Chan’s advice or ideas. He would work it out with Jisung. Just the two of them.

“That might not be a bad idea, actually…” Chan mused.

Minho shot him an icy glare.

Chan shrugged his shoulders in response, watching as the younger dropped the noodles into the bubbling water to let them cook.

“Just, please… get it sorted out today Minho-sii. If this goes on much longer it’s going to start affecting the rest of us. And we don’t want a repeat of last time. Remember that when you hurt, we hurt too…” The leader said softly, patting Minho’s shoulder in reassurance before he walked away.

Minho sighed under his breath, his shoulders suddenly feeling heavier with this burden. He knew Chan was right. Their last breakup had been painful for everyone, not just him and Jisung. But he honestly didn’t have a solution to this problem right now. At least not one that would stop the girl getting hurt, and he knew Jisung wouldn’t want that. That boy just didn’t have it in him to hurt people.

The steam from the boiling pan in front of him dissipated into the air, and Minho lifted the noodles inside with his chopsticks. Satisfied that they were cooked, he drained the water and flipped them into bowl, adding a powdered herb for flavour and cracking an egg over the top. Just way the Jisung liked it. Holding it with the tips of his fingers, he carried the hot food back to the bedroom.

Jisung was still sleeping soundly.

“Han-ah…” Minho called softly.

Setting the bowl down on the bedside table, he sat beside him on the bed, shaking him gently.

“Sungie…” He called again. Jisung stirred, shrinking into the bed covers and whining quietly.

_Cute._

“Sungie, baby…” He purred, leaning in to kiss the younger’s cheek. Jisung’s eyes fluttered open, his head turning to meet Minho’s gaze. A small smile crossed his lips.

“Morning…” He whispered groggily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He was still naked from the events of the night before, his back muscles tensing as he stretched his body out, arms above his head. Minho had to stop himself from staring.

“You hungry?” He eventually asked, clearing his throat.

“I could eat…” Jisung groaned, running his hands through his hair and yawning.

Minho handed him the bowl of noodles.

“Here.”

“Smells good.” Jisung murmured, taking the food and chopsticks from Minho’s hands as he began to tuck in.

Minho had always loved to watch him eat. The way he would stuff his food into his cheeks, the way he’d bounce happily and make those small sounds of content. It was seeing these little things, in the privacy of a space meant just for them, that Minho had missed so much.

The two sat in silence, Minho just watching in simple adoration as Jisung scarfed down the food, chewing like he hadn’t been fed for a week.

When he was done, he plopped himself back on the bed, patting his tummy and thanking Minho for the food.

“Han-ah… we should talk.” Minho said softly. Jisung sat upright almost immediately, his expression changing as a pit began to form in his stomach. He knew what was coming. It was time to face the music.

“Uh… what happened last night,” Minho began. “What did you think?”

Jisung’s eyes went wide, his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink.

“What did I think? I think it was… g- great.” He stammered. Minho smirked at the response.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I know you enjoyed it… I mean where does this leave us?”

Jisung tensed, his shoulders rising by a few inches as he felt himself start to clam up.

“I- I don’t know…”

Minho sighed. He would have to take charge here and be blatant about it. Just like he always used to.

“Do you want to be with me?” He asked, his words stern.

Jisung remained still, his gaze locked to his hands as he fiddled with them in his lap.

“I… b- but… we can’t, hyung…” He whispered.

“That’s not what I asked,” Minho retorted. “I asked if _you_ want to be with me. We can deal with all the other shit after.”

Jisung squirmed under Minho’s burning gaze. He pulled the bed covers up around his chest, as if creating some form of defence around himself.

“I don’t know…”

Minho stood up from the bed, pacing around the room as frustration began to set in.

“Sungie, if you’re not going to be honest with me, we’re never going to figure this out.”

Jisung’s eyes followed the older around the room. He could sense Minho’s anguish, because he felt it too. This whole thing was such a mess, and the things they’d done the night before had only added to the confusion.

Perhaps it was time he started to follow his heart.

Jisung took a deep breath, steeling himself as best he could.

“A- all I know is… that I can’t be without you.” He said quietly.

Minho stopped pacing, moving to the edge of the bed and squatting in front of the younger, meeting his hazel coloured gaze.

“But what does that mean?”

“I… I- just…” Jisung hesitated, his mind screaming at him not to do it while his heart pushed the confession to the tip of his tongue.

“I need you to use your words, Jisung.” The older commanded, his dominant tone coming out for just a moment. Jisung shivered at the familiarity, his resolve cracking like a fragile mirror that was already threatening to break.

He inhaled sharply as a rush of bottled up emotions bubbled inside him, coming to a violent peak. A confusing mix of sadness, anger, jealousy and sheer exhaustion.

He just couldn’t contain it anymore.

“I… I meant exactly what I said! I- I can’t be without you! I feel like I can’t fucking _breathe_ when you’re not here…” Jisung’s voice broke, his breathing picking up speed as he spoke.

“I have this pain in my chest all the time… it hurts so fucking much, hyung. And you… you,” he whimpered, tears escaping his eyes as the words rolled relentlessly off his tongue. “You never seem to notice! You go out… and you f- _fuck_ other people without ever thinking about how it destroys me… the thought of someone else’s hands on you, someone else being with you, someone else in your arms… it- it _kills_ me!” He sobbed as he tried to catch his breath.

Minho’s eyes went wide, his heart pounding.

He knew all of this. He knew, yet he never stopped… Hearing the younger say it out loud like this made him feel like he’d just been kicked in the chest.

“Sungie, I-”

Jisung shot him a teary eyed glare, holding his hand up to his face.

“I’m not done!” He shouted as best he could, his fists forming into balls. “Do you have any _fucking_ idea… how hard it was to act like I was okay?! During performances, during events?! Every time someone so much as said your name, I felt like I was being ripped open!”

“You hurt me so much… We both hurt each other. I- I thought I’d never be the same person again. But then… then I met her. She took the pain away, hyung… at least for a little while. She was new, she had no connection to the bad memories. She was my fresh start. My escape. And she loved me, for who I was… not for what she could get from me…” His sobbing lessened, but his cheeks were stained with tears.

“B- but, you had to take that away from me too.” Jisung whispered, sniffling. “And I took it out on her, pushed her away because that was what I thought was best. I thought that was what I had to do to make you realise that I know… I know you’re just marking your territory. You were trying to tell both of us that I would never be free of you…”

Minho swallowed, a hard lump forming in his throat. Jisung was right. It had been his intention to try and split the pair up. Because he was jealous… jealous that someone else was taking up his time. That someone else was at the forefront of his mind. Minho had acted purely on his own selfish desires. He just wanted Jisung to himself.

“You want the truth?” Jisung asked, looking Minho straight in the eyes as he wiped his cheeks with his forearm.

“I love you both… You’re my first love. I can never switch that off… and believe me, I’ve tried. And I love her for saving me. For giving me a reason to smile again…”

In all the years of his life, Minho had never been flooded with such regret as Jisung’s outburst stabbed him all over. This was everything he’d needed to hear. Everything he’d wanted to hear. It was the wake up call he’d been waiting for, and it was long overdue.

He knew his way of coping with and suppressing his feelings had hurt Jisung, but he’d had no idea of the depth of pain he’d caused. He’d damaged him. Every person he’d slept with, every night he spent out chasing his own relief had chipped away at Jisung’s self worth, creating cracks in his identity that had transformed him into a shell of who he used to be.

Over time, he’d ultimately worn away the one person he’d ever cared for, all because of his own ugly jealousy and incessant need to possess. It was quickly dawning on him that Jisung was far more precious to him than something he could simply own. He could never own him. Because he knew he didn’t deserve to.

Minho had no trouble admitting the sheer self-loathing he held for himself. He hated what he’d done to this boy, and to a girl who in all honesty, he should really be thanking. She’d put Jisung back together after the mess that he’d created.

Now that he thought about it, somehow… in some fucked up way, this girl had inadvertently acted as the link that had brought them back together. She was the reason Jisung had the confidence and strength to even say all this… she was the catalyst for everything that had happened so far.

Yet in the deepest recesses of his heart, Minho still longed for him. Desperately. The thought of spending the rest of his days so close to him, yet unable to have him or hold him…? No. He’d rather die.

He knew his words wouldn’t be enough to fix this right now. He needed to act. _Show_ Jisung just how remorseful he was. It was time to drop the act. Drop the walls and the facade, the selfish and conceited traits that he’d bred for so long.

Minho vowed wholeheartedly, unconditionally, to repair this relationship. To make things right. He’d spend the rest of his life making amends if that’s what it took to stop the tears and pain. For everyone.

“Sungie…?” He whispered, looking up at him with watery eyes.

“What if I told you… there might be a way you could have us both?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


	20. Promises

##### It had been days since your breakup with Jisung.

Felix had stayed with you on that harrowing night, and you were thankful for that. Having him there had helped, especially when you woke yourself up from crying too hard, or when you’d call Jisung’s name in your sleep. He was immediately at your side, soothing you until the tears subsided, like the guardian angel you never knew you’d needed.

He would call occasionally when he had the time, and texted almost every hour to check in on you. He had made good on his promise of being there for you, and you honestly felt like you had a true friend in Felix. A confidant. Someone you could trust. Because those people seemed to be in desperately short supply right now.

In the days that had passed since your fight with Jisung, you’d tried your best to go about your normal routine. Wake up, shower, go to work, go home, eat, and sleep. Rinse and repeat on autopilot. You’d so far managed to resist the urge to call or text him, figuring that what he needed right now was space to figure things out and get his head straight.

But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him. That you didn’t sob yourself to sleep every night, knowing that the only thing that could fix this hole in your heart was his presence.

All you wanted was for the pain in your chest to go away.

It was nothing short of hell.

* * *

##### *ring ring*

You were sat in your apartment, allowing some mindless sitcom to dull your brain as your phone started to ring.

Kicking off the fort of blankets you’d piled over you, you dragged yourself up and reached for your phone. You checked the caller ID, but it wasn’t coming up with a name. Just an unknown number.

“Hello…?”

_“Hi. Is this Y/N?”_

“Yes…”

_“It’s Lee Minho.”_

Your heart stopped beating for a moment as you heard the name.

_Shit._

“What do you want?” You asked abruptly.

_“Can Sung-, uh… Han-ie and I come over?”_

You hesitated, your mind running wild at the sudden proposal.

_“You’re at home, right?”_

“Y- yes… I’m here. _”_

_“Cool. Cus we’re outside.”_

With that, the phone went dead. Almost instantly, panic gripped you and a firm knock resounded from the door. You scrambled off the sofa, briefly stopping on your way to the door to check yourself in the mirror. You looked marginally acceptable, given your current emotional state.

You held your breath as you tentatively opened the door… and Jisung appeared before you.

He was wearing his black ripped skinny jeans and a large white shirt covered by a leather jacket, a white baseball cap low over his face. You could see the tufts of blonde hair poking through, confirming that you weren’t in fact dreaming. It really was him. The moment his eyes met yours, you felt the overwhelming urge to burst into tears.

“Hi, Y/N…” He said, his tone quiet.

“Hi…” You breathed, fighting the desire to run into his arms.

Peering over his shoulder, you noticed Minho leaning against the walkway railing opposite your door. Wearing leather trousers and a striped shirt, he had a mask around his face. His steely hair fell around his feline eyes, giving you a glimpse of his gorgeous lashes as the late afternoon wind gently brushed it aside. You didn’t know whether to be intimidated or turned on… he was utterly confusing to you.

“Can we come in?” Jisung asked.

“Of course, sure…”

You opened the door wide and walked back into your apartment, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves as you left them to come in.

You couldn’t help but feel like you were about to start some kind of marriage counselling session, what with the change to the atmosphere and the sudden formality that crept in as they sat on your sofa.

They were almost unnecessarily close to each other. You chose the armchair opposite them, suddenly feeling awkward in your own apartment.

Jisung sat forward with his elbows on his knees while Minho leaned back into your cushions, his arm casually slung along the back of the sofa. He looked like he didn’t even want to be here, and you couldn’t blame him.

“So… what’s up?” You asked, trying to break the tension.

“Well how have you been, first?” Jisung asked softly.

Surely he must have known the answer to that.

Clearing your throat, you fiddled with the cushion on your lap. You put on your best fake smile, as you’d grown accustomed to doing over the last few days.

“Fine. I’ve been fine.”

“Liar.” Minho muttered under his breath, his eyes piercing. His comment surprised you, and without thinking, you shot him a glare that you immediately regretted when he raised an eyebrow at you in a way that just made you shiver.

“If that’s true, I’m glad…” Jisung smiled back.

You’d recognise that fake smile anywhere. It was the same one you were using.

“Double liar.” Minho muttered again.

Jisung shifted awkwardly in his seat, taking his cap off and sweeping his hand through his golden hair. _God_ , you wanted to touch him.

“So, uh… Y/N? We have… something to ask you. And it may come as a surprise, b- but… please… bear with us?” He stammered.

This was starkly out of character for him, and the unusual behaviour only made you more nervous.

“We just want you to hear us out…”

You nodded in understanding, your heart picking up speed at his mannerisms.

“Uh, well… Lee Know-hyung and I, we have… a history,” he began. “You know, right? About our past. Our… relationship.”

You nodded again, letting him talk.

“Well, we… we’ve realised that we can’t be without each other… We’re in love, Y/N. In truth, we always have been, and… I struggle to imagine a day when we won’t be.”

Your heart ached at his words, ripping you in two all over again as tears formed in your eyes. You knew all this already, and you didn’t understand why he was bringing it up again. It was almost as if he had just realised it himself. It was typical Jisung. So totally oblivious to own feelings while everyone else around him watches in frustration. You would have laughed if you weren’t so heartbroken, and you were almost relieved that he’d come to the revelation himself. Although you could have told him that weeks ago.

All you wanted now was to be left alone. This whole thing had caused you nothing but pain.

“I’m happy for you…” You smiled, choking on the words despite your attempts to hold yourself together. “Thank you for telling me. Congratulations.”

You calmly pushed the cushion off your lap, standing from your seat and walking past the boys to leave the room. You had to at least maintain your composure until you were out of their sight. You could break when you were alone.

But you were pulled back by a firm hand around your wrist.

“Wait,” Minho exclaimed as he held your arm. “Let him finish. Please.”

You blinked away tears, a look of confusion on your face. What more could he have to say?

“Y/N, I love him…” Jisung said quietly, his jaw tensing as he gathered his courage. “B- but… I love you too.”

Your eyes went wide, flicking between the two of them. Jisung was staring straight at you, his eyes pleading with something you couldn’t quite identify, while Minho looked tense.

“W- what…?”

“I know it’s insane, Y/N. But it’s the truth. You pulled me out of a dark time in my life. You were my salvation when I needed it most. All the time we spent together… I cherish it. And I want it back.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He couldn’t be serious…

“B- but, what do you want me to do with that? Why are you telling me this?” You asked in disbelief.

“I don’t want to lose either of you…” Jisung muttered, looking down at his hands as he played with his fingers.

Minho let out a deep breath, standing up to meet you at eye level as he gave you a look of firm determination.

“Look,” he sighed. “What Han-ie’s saying is that he doesn’t want to lose me. Or you. So, we have to share.”

“S- share?!” You scoffed. “You’re insane.”

Minho grabbed your wrist again as you began to walk away, pulling you close to him.

“Look at him, Y/N.” He whispered.

You flicked your eyes over to Jisung in compliance.

He was visibly shaking. His fists were formed into tight balls as his chest rose and fell heavily. He hung his head, staring at the floor as tears fell from his cheeks. He looked… scared. Like he was on the brink of losing everything.

“Trust me,” Minho murmured in your ear. “I don’t do these things. Especially when it comes to things I love. It’s not in my nature. But… I am prepared to do this. For him. He needs it, Y/N… If being with you, and being with me, is what makes him happy, I will gladly play along. There’s room in his heart for both of us…”

He paused, taking a deep breath before he continued.

“And honestly…? There’s room in mine for you. I know that you saved him.”

Minho released his grip on you, running his hand through his steely tresses.

“I owe him this…” He muttered, more to himself than to you.

Minho’s words resonated with you. You could sense the love and pain in his voice. It was so clear that it almost hurt. On some level… you related to him. He was truly prepared to do anything for Jisung, and it made you feel guilty for even considering walking away.

You loved him, more than anything. Didn’t you? If being with him like this was the only way for you to be together, you would take it.

And if you were being truthful, Minho wasn’t exactly a deal breaker. He was someone you could learn to love, even for all of his flaws.

You moved towards Jisung, sinking to your knees in front of him. Lifting his chin up to look at you, you were once again stunned by his beauty. Every time you looked at him, it was like you were still sat behind a screen, watching this angel from afar. Except here he was, in front of you.

Spilling those tears for _you_. Breaking his heart for you as he told you he couldn’t bear to lose you.

Without thinking, you leaned in and kissed him tenderly, as if not wanting to scare him away. You could feel the tears on his cheeks against your skin, the connection between you reestablishing your feelings as you silently accepted his proposal.

Jisung leaned into you, his hands moving to your neck as he deepened the kiss. A small sound of emotion escaped your lips. He brushed his tongue across your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter, and you willingly granted it. His tongue slicked over yours, moving expertly as he kissed you. It had felt like forever since you’d tasted him, despite it only being days. The familiar sensation of his lips melded with yours made you lightheaded… He was heavenly.

Jisung broke the kiss slowly, his breathing heavy as he looked at you with darkened eyes.

“Is that a yes, baby?” He whispered.

“Yes…” You muttered.

Jisung looked up at Minho, and it dawned on you that he’d been watching that whole passionate display. His expression had visibly changed. He looked… turned on? He bit on his bottom lip as he held one hand in the pocket of his leather trousers. Jisung smirked, planting another small kiss on your lips as his eyes remained fixed to the older.

“Enjoying the show…?” He asked slyly.

Minho’s eyes narrowed at his words. Where had this sudden confidence come from? Was it her that brought it out of him?

_Interesting…_

Jisung reached out his hand, calling for Minho.

He swallowed, warily coming over to sit next to Jisung on the sofa. He kept his hand firm in his pocket.

Jisung stood up, pulling you to stand with him. Moving around behind you, he positioned you in front of Minho and wound his own arms around your waist. He slowly slid his hands up the front of your shirt, and you flinched at the contact. His hands were warm, his breath hot on the back of your neck. It was sparking something inside you that you hadn’t felt for a while…

Jisung held the hem of your shirt, slowly pulling it up over your head and tossing it to the floor. You weren’t wearing a bra, seeing as this was your day off and you hadn’t intended to leave the house…

You felt a sudden surge of vulnerability as Jisung’s hands worked their way up your stomach, teasing you with feather light touches that created goosebumps, until he got to your breasts. He cupped them with both hands, caressing and massaging the sensitive skin, twirling your buds between his fingertips. You moaned quietly, letting your head fall back onto his shoulder. Jisung bucked his hips into you as he held you close, grinding himself against your body. The simple gesture made you shudder.

“Look at him…” Jisung purred into your ear.

Your eyes fluttered open and rested on Minho, who was watching with a deathly intensity and both hands in his pockets. His eyes were dark and he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Being watched like this made you tingle with excitement. You were enjoying it more than you thought you would, despite yourself. This was something you could definitely get used to…

“Hyung, take your hands out of your pockets…” Jisung called. You could almost hear the smirk on his lips.

“Sungie… I would advise against that, baby.” Minho growled, gently reminding Jisung that _he_ was the dominant in this relationship.

Jisung moved swiftly around you and leaned in next to Minho, grazing his lips over his earlobe.

“Pretty please, _Master_ …?”

The whisper was so quiet that you barely heard it.

But Minho’s head fell back into the sofa, his resolve seeming to cave the moment he’d heard his preferred dom title from the boy. Flashing an ice cold glare at Jisung, he removed his hands.

You almost gasped at the sight that appeared as a result. The fabric of Minho’s leather trousers tightened against his crotch, revealing the outline of his solid, lengthy cock straining against them. Your mouth went utterly dry.

Jisung beamed at the sight, moving back to you. He held your hands in both of his, guiding you towards Minho until your legs were touching.

“Sit.” He commanded you.

“Yah, Sungie…” Minho growled again, eyes piercing into him. Jisung looked at him with a pout, eyes wide and pleading.

“ _Fuck_.” Minho exclaimed as he caved once again to his appeals. He grabbed your hands and pulled you down to sit on him, easily spreading your legs into a straddling position. His straining cock was now painfully close to your heat.

You weren’t sure what to do, hands resting on Minho’s chest as an expression of uncertainty crossed his face. You looked up at Jisung for direction.

“Make her feel it, _Master…_ ” Jisung pleaded again. Minho gritted his teeth, seemingly totally unable to deny his requests when he called him that.

Without warning, Minho grabbed your waist at either side and rolled his hips into you, his clothed cock brushing across your pussy.

“ _Ahh_ …” You moaned through parted lips, the sounds escaping you before you could stop them as he continued to roll against you. The friction between you built up heat in your core as he worked you, each grind and motion of his hips becoming firmer and more sensual as he started to lose himself.

Jisung sat on the armchair, watching the two of you in your unwinding throws of passion. He hummed in content, thriving off watching how desperately Minho tried to stay in control as you simply fell apart above him - it was even sexier than he’d imagined.

“Stand up, angel.” Minho purred, and you immediately complied, climbing off him with shaky legs as the wetness between your thighs became unbearable.

He frantically unbuckled his leather trousers, hiking his hips upwards as he rolled them down to his ankles.

“Sungie…” He called to the younger, who was watching with flushed cheeks and a heaving chest. He seemed to snap to attention at the mention of his pet name.

“Come here.” He commanded.

The younger immediately moved to him, getting on his knees in front of Minho. He gently pulled down Minho’s boxers, allowing his length to spring free from its confines. Jisung’s eyes became glassy as he drooled at the sight of it.

“Do your thing, baby…” The older purred, stroking Jisung’s hair off his face as he gathered it in his hands.

Jisung nodded in understanding, not wasting any time. He greedily slid his mouth over Minho’s member, taking it all the way down and choking when it hit the back of his throat. Minho groaned from his chest, never taking his eyes off his lover.

You watched the whole scene unfolding on your sofa, not quite feeling like it was real. Except it was. It was very real. And it was utterly erotic. Watching these two beautiful men all over each other made your stomach burn with desire, and you unconsciously lowered your fingers to your heat. It was instinct. You just couldn’t stop yourself.

Jisung continued sucking Minho, releasing small moans of satisfaction when the older groaned or bucked his hips. He loved watching Minho like this. Hollowing his cheeks, he sucked once again, running his tongue over his slit and collecting the pre-cum that had leaked from him.

“ _Shit_ , easy baby…” Minho cooed, looking in your direction with hooded eyes.

“I think our angel’s getting lonely…” He smirked, noticing that you were touching yourself. His gaze sent shivers through you, and you nodded helplessly.

Jisung removed himself from Minho with a sharp pop, standing from his knees and walking over to you. He took your face in his hands, kissing you fiercely, shoving his tongue into your mouth and forcing you to taste Minho just like he had.

“He tastes good, right?” Jisung whispered as he broke the kiss, long strings of saliva and nameless fluids bridging between your lips.Your cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red as you smiled in agreement. 

Moving back in to kiss your neck, Jisung deftly dipped his fingertips into the band of your shorts, sliding them and your panties down around your ankles, just like he’d done so many times before.

Minho looked you up and down, this being the first time he’d seen you totally naked. He bit hard on his lip, stroking his wet length with one hand as took you in. He patted his muscular thighs, indicating for you to climb on. You nearly tripped over yourself with excitement as you rushed to him.

“Eager little angel. We’ve got all the time in the world…” Minho smirked. Taking your hands in his, he pulled you carefully back onto his lap, allowing you to straddle him once again.

“Tell me what you want…” He purred, his hands winding around your naked waist as he held you in place.

“I… I want you, Minho. I want you inside me… please.” You whimpered in desperation.

“Good girl…”

With one gentle, fluid motion, Minho bucked his hips up and entered you, easing his rock hard cock into your entrance until you’d taken every inch of him. He held there for a moment, allowing you to adjust to his size as he looked at you intently, a mix of adoration and wonder.

You weren’t with it anymore. The blood rushed to your head and you moaned in sheer delight as you accepted him. The feeling of Minho inside you was unfamiliar, but utterly safe. Like he was built to fit you, just like Jisung. You arched your back in pleasure, your hands against his heaving chest for balance.

“How does it feel, angel?” Minho breathed, not being able to hide his struggle to keep himself together.

“S- so fucking good, _Master…_ ”

Minho’s eyes sparked at the sound of that title slipping from your lips, and he snapped as the last crumbs of his resolve faded away.

Gripping onto your hips tightly, he bucked his hips up, fucking you at a firm but steady rhythm and pace. Over and over he pounded you, yours moans of lust only encouraging him as he cursed under his breath and praised you for being so good. Jisung stood behind you, his hands soothing down your spine and stroking your hair, planting gentle kisses on the back of your neck as you bounced helplessly on Minho’s cock. He knew what you were going through with this man underneath you.

The tiniest beads of sweat began to trickle from the side of his neck, leaving his skin glistening with the exertion. His fingers kneaded into the supple skin of your hips before he slid them over your butt and hiked you up, lifting and lowering you over his solid length in time with his own advances.

You quickly felt the pressure build in your core and a knot form in your stomach. You let your head fall into the crook of Minho’s neck, whining into his ear uncontrollably as he continued his motions. You weren’t going to last much longer like this.

“I need you to… tell me when you’re close, angel…” Minho panted, slowing his pace and planting small kisses on your shoulder. He met Jisung’s lips in a frantic, wet kiss as you held yourself against his body, the two of them making out over your shoulder while you simply collapsed between them, head filled with nothing but sheer lustful euphoria.

“I’m close Master, I’m _so_ close…” You whimpered. “Please don’t stop…”

“That’s it, talk to me…”

He picked up the pace again, wrapping his arms around your sweaty form, holding you in place and pounding you even harder than before with renewed stamina, his length grazing depths inside you that you made you just want to explode.

“ _Ugh_ … I- I’m c- cumming…” You cried, your body beginning to shudder involuntarily as the convulsions of orgasm started to wash over you at his beckoning.

“Good girl… _fuck_ …” Minho hissed, feeling your pussy contract tightly around him.

With one last groan and a final thrust, you came hard, fire washing through you and waves of pleasure crashing into you. Minho followed close behind, his release flooding hot as he stiffened and trembled, his head buried into your heaving cleavage.

You were sweaty and exhausted, still in the throws of your first orgasm, but weren’t given time to recover.

Lifting you off him with ease, Minho gently placed you on the sofa. He moved to Jisung, who seemed to have taken his clothes off and was now pumping himself, eyes black and glazed over as he watched the pornographic display from his kneeling position on the floor.

Minho stood and crouched in front of him, stroking the younger’s hair off his flushed face.

“Sungie… baby. Come back to me.” He purred.

Jisung immediately threw himself on him, kissing him passionately. The older groaned desperately, pulling him off the floor and into his arms. Their lengths gently grazed and brushed together as they frantically clawed at each other, Jisung’s already solid and throbbing as Minho’s grew steadily harder, despite his earlier orgasm.

You watched in fucked out disbelief. You couldn’t get over the sight of it. Even now, you wanted them both. You felt like you’d never get your fill of them.

“Your turn now, baby. Show me how you do it with our angel…” Minho cooed. Jisung nodded, kissing him one last time before moving to you.

“Hey, you…” He whispered, planting a wet kiss on your lips. You smiled at the sight of him, his gorgeous eyes and flushed cheeks making your heart ache all over again.

“You good?” He asked, smiling helplessly at your cute reaction to him. You hummed in response, sitting upright and pulling Jisung towards you.

“Nuh uh. Like this baby…” Jisung said softly, pulling you up from the sofa.

“Knees up.” He instructed. You placed your knees on the sofa seat and leaned forwards over the back of it, presenting yourself to him. Your stomach started knotting, excitement and desire building up in the anticipation of feeling him again.

Placing gentle kisses down your spine and over your hips, Jisung adjusted himself behind you, lining his length up at your entrance.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful…” He hummed, his breath hitching with the idea of claiming you again.

Gentle hands held you in place as Jisung began to stretch you out, giving you that delicious fullness you so wantonly craved.

Just like Minho, he felt as thought he was built to fit you.

You bit down on your arm as Jisung began to move, fluid rolls of his hips thrusting his girthy length to the deepest parts of your core. Unadulterated moans ripped from you, far louder than the first time as your sensitive walls accepted him again, and again, and again. He wasn’t as firm as Minho, preferring to take his time to drive you into ecstasy. But that didn’t make it any less fucking amazing.

“Holy fucking shit-”

Minho’s growl made you shiver as you realised he was watching. Looking over your shoulder, you bit on your lip as you saw Minho stood behind Jisung, his hands tracing over his firm abs, laving across his skin as he took hold of his naked waist.

Minho’s touches only seemed to encourage him, and you wailed in sinful delight as Jisung planted a firm smack to your rear.

“Harder, Sungie. Give it to her harder…” Minho purred, one large hand cupping the boys’ butt cheeks, relishing in the way they tensed and contracted as he moved. His other hand found the small of your clammy back, and he pulled you backwards, angling you just right as he spurred on Jisung.

You nodded in eager agreement with Minho’s words, wanting him to take you harder. You arched yourself over the back of the sofa, feeling the surge of pure warmth and pleasure as Jisung’s beautifully curved cock worked your g-spot. He picked up the pace, plunging into your dripping entrance, creating the most obscene sounds of wetness and sweaty skin on skin.

“F- _fuck_ … I’m gonna…” Jisung whimpered, unable to control himself any longer.

“Ask her, baby.” Minho cooed in his ear, taking hold of his hair by the roots and tugging him just the way he liked.

“Y/N… c- can I?” He asked, his voice shaky as his release approached him.

As if you were ever going to deny him.

* * *

##### Although this whole thing had initially started with Minho being the reason for your heartache and pain, he very quickly ended up becoming the glue that held you together.

Just like you were for the two boys.

It hadn’t taken long for you to fall for him, and you could now see all the things that Jisung had seen in him, clear as day. Despite his flaws and his tendency to overdo things, being loved by Minho felt like a privilege… There was really no other way to describe it. He was fierce in his passion, and tender in his care. You’d lost count of the times he’d made your head spin just through the simplest of things.

And Jisung… the only thing that had changed about him was the newly found spring in his step and the constant smile that plastered his face. He was everything you’d ever needed, the perfect counterbalance to Minho’s intensity. The perfect boyfriend. The perfect man.

The three of you spent all your free time together, and as stressful as avoiding the shifty gaze of their company and the general public was, you were reminded every day that the lengths you had to go to were _so_ worth it. While you never felt the need to label your relationship with anything official, it still just felt right.

The other members eventually found out about your arrangement, and much to your surprise, they gave you their full support. At first there were lots of questions, and honestly, you’d expected that.

Don’t you get jealous? Don’t you fight? Don’t you doubt that one loves you more than the other? And of course, all those things had crossed your mind at some point. You were only human, so doubt and uncertainty were always bound to set in sooner or later.

But it was when you were alone together, simply hanging out and being yourselves, that the answers to those questions presented themselves.

You knew that there was nothing but understanding, support and _unreal_ sex in this relationship. It was the realest, purest form of love you’d ever felt. In your darkest times, you could turn to them. In your happiest moments, you could laugh with them. And that was more than you could ever ask for.

Jisung and Minho were your reason for getting up in the morning. They were your motivation, and your daydream. And daydreaming was something you were oh-so-good at.

Except now… your dreams were a blissful, insane reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this angsty mess, I do hope you enjoyed it. Please consider supporting me or leaving feedback if you did. Take care. ~Mica  
> ~ Feedback via [Tumblr](https://jl-micasea.tumblr.com/) or on AO3  
> ~ Support via [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/jlmicasea)


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